Doing Right for our Kids

I've mentioned before, I think, that I don't have any biological kids of my own. It's a long story on why that is. However, I love kids and I've helped raise some kids over the years. One of these kids, T.S., is the closest thing to a daughter I will ever have. I'm incredibly proud of her. She is bright, kind, giving, helpful, and not trying to be too grown up before she has to be. She is 18 years old and about to go to college. She was admitted to many universities, but she wanted to go where I am, before any of us knew that I would be going to prison, so she selected to go out of state to my university to start her studies.

I made T.S. a lot of promises I cannot keep now that I'm going to prison. I'd told her that I would take her out to dinner once a week. I told her that she could enjoy a bath once in a while in my bath tubs (the residence halls only have showers and she loves baths). I told her I would help purchase her school books. I told her I could take her places. I told her I would help get stuff for her dorm room. I told her many things, but most importantly, I told her I WOULD BE HERE FOR HER! Now I won't be.

T.S. is fairly mature, having gone through more than her share of life events at a young age, but she is still 18 and when someone who is a parent figure in your life makes promises (even if they don't say the word promise) we cannot let them down. Not if we want any chance of coming back to a positive relationship after prison.

First, I've never lied to T.S. Since she was old enough to understand, she's known that I could be arrested at some point and why.

Second, when I realized I was going to prison, I spoke honestly with T.S. and hoped she could understand. She said she did, and most young people will claim to.

Third, I found surrogates to fill my roles with all of my promises. Granted, her mom has to fill some of them, but my friends offered their bathtub, multiple friends of mine friended T.S. on Facebook and told me that if T.S. needs anything while I am gone, they will help her out. I met a professor who can help her find tutoring if she needs it. Her cousin already promised her to help with decorating her dorm room. T.S. is going to be well taken care of in my absence. At 18, and soon to be 19, years old, at least that care doesn't have to be 24/7.

I write about this because we can't forget about the promises we made to our kids or the children in our lives. They may depend on those promises. Our lives are upside down, but don't take it out on the innocent ones being left behind. Knowing they are still living their lives in the best possible way should bring you some happiness while doing your time.