Signs of Stress

There is no way around it, neither meditation, nor candy, nor prayer, nor distraction, nor getting things done, ... It is just there... STRESS. I've had a lot of stress over the years in my life, but I'm seeing the signs of it right now as if it is close to its worst. Of course, I could just blame my memory issues on my health, but it's probably due to that ugly word stress!

Yesterday, I rode my scooter, Hope, all the way home and was locked out of my house, having locked my keys inside my office on campus. Today I was riding Hope to campus and for the first time ever in any vehicle I've ever driven, ran out of gas! In 92 degree heat!! I tried to start walking Hope home, but the hills & my bad health got the better of me. I posted on Facebook my predicament and had a rescue response in less than a minute (although I had to wait more than 40 minutes in the heat for her to appear with the one gallon of gas).

I wonder if others find themselves being forgetful during these days just before self-surrender. It is certainly difficult at times to have my head "in the game." It is not an excuse, though. I was more than an hour late to work today (and had to ask the office manager to let me in my office since my office keys were also locked inside my office).

I lie in silence a lot, clear my head, think of nothing, and try to stay in that state of relaxation without falling asleep. I feel outwardly more anxiety than stress. But perhaps that anxiety is just a symptom of  the stress.

In the end, I suppose, everyone would say that it is perfectly normal to feel stress at this time. We are going through a huge life change. We are going to an unknown, where we have little control, if any. However, we must find ways to maintain our sanity, our memory, and our health best we can. I'm still searching on my magic way, although riding Hope certainly is one.