From Dragonfly: Creativity

I am smiling. A real smile! I just got notice that the funds to pay for my SPO purchases are being held against my account. This may sound bad, but SPO is what we call our craft supplies!!! I ordered items to make my own cards. I'm really excited to know that it went through. I get really bored just writing on lined paper. With these supplies, I can be more creative and have some "me" time making fun cards. I guess I should warn all my friends that I will be sending them really cheesy cards - as I am not all that creative - but I will try!!!

Creativity, here, is amazing. There is one woman who paints reading glasses for folks in our unit. The reading glasses they buy here are black. She uses her paints to put fun designs on the frames - they are super cute and creative. Another inmate is nearly done creating a beautiful blanket. Her crochet skills are incredible and the blanket could probably sell for a lot of money on the outside. Some inmates made cards for people. If I do, I will not charge, as that is against the rules here, however, the other inmates do. How we pay for these items is through commissary purchases that they request. Once again, it is against the rules, and the consequences can be severe, but for some people, it is their only way to purchase their needs. There are women who cut hair, women who do braids, women who make teddy bears, women who decorate mp3 players, women who decorate rooms for birthdays, women who create large drawings, women who make crochet animals, women who do needlepoint, women who make meals/desserts, etc. For a price, someone in every unit will create what it is you want. Sometimes the price is very high. Sometimes, it is shockingly low. I'm always impressed seeing how much work goes into each project - they are not earning a good hourly wage, but, then again, we are in prison.

I'm glad I will soon have my supplies, in order to enjoy time being creative. I love my work, but there is a lot of stress that comes with the job as well. The head teacher continues to degrade me in front of my students. My students always look at me and cannot fathom why she has a stick up her butt about me, but she does. I have never even had a real conversation with her. When I tried, she was short with me and walked away. I guess being an inmate puts me on the bottom of the mud pit... but she will allow me to teach the students. Makes no sense. My students are doing great! Yesterday, they all turned in two well-written paragraphs. Such growth in one week! The head teacher wants them to be writing 5 paragraph essays already, but they are still learning transitions, proper punctuation, and structure. Plus, Ms. W., the teacher who has been working in my room, is not going to be there for very long. A new teacher, or Ms. N., will be in her place. A new teacher means that anything we do curriculum-wise will need to be redone when they come. The students are seeking to have some consistency - they have been through 3 former tutors and now 2 teachers. They just need someone who gets to know them, their strengths and weaknesses, to stay. But, I reminded myself just a bit ago, I am NOT here to teach GED students. I am here to do my time and go home. I need not care as much as I do. I may not be able to help it, but I need to distance myself. It is a very rewarding job, but I am still just an inmate.

That is why the ability to be creative is so important for me. I can care about what I do. Also, I've slowed down majorly in writing people. I just don't have anything new to share. Every day here is about the same, except for the gossip (called "inmate.com," even though it has nothing to do with computers). No one needs to hear about a bunch of prison gossip. So often, we learn it is not true anyway. So, making cards will be a positive outlet - lie to me and tell me that you love my cards!