From Dragonfly: A Horror Story

Last night, while my room was waiting for 9:30pm count (which occurred after 10pm), we were all telling stories about our first days incarcerated. I am going to share a story, which I verified with the individual (as I gave her a hug that I think I needed after hearing her story even more than she did). When she came to Carswell, she was designated to the camp across the street. In addition to the FMC, Carswell has a small women's prison camp (about 200 inmates) that live at an old motel on the military base. We can see the facility outside our gates. The camp has no fencing, the inmates can walk around a lake, work on the base, and have no "closed" moves. That's what those of us who are "minimum" security, but stranded in the FMC, are supposed to get for treatment - but the medical center treats every inmate the same - at a medium security level (except for the few women in MAX, the SHU, or in some administrative type status).

Anyway, this inmate has severe kidney issues. I believe she was born with only one kidney, and at the time of her incarceration, her kidney was not well-functioning and she had an outer bag to help her. When R&D learned about the kidney issue and bag, she was told that she could not go to the camp, but rather would be in the medical unit. I guess they were not expecting her, so they needed to do the redesignation, so they put her in an administrative cell - single cell, large metal door, small hole that opens to the hallway, a small window to the hallway, no control of lighting, metal bed with no mattress, one sheet, no blanket or pillow... and she had the bible that she brought with her from home. Well, they forgot about her in that cell... for two days. She self-surrendered on a Monday and no one gave her any food or water until someone opened her cell on Wednesday and asked, "Are you ______ (last name)?" She was then moved to a regular housing unit.

The inmate says that while in the cell, she figured that her time in Carswell would be that experience and that she would spend 2 years in the cell, with no interaction with others. She did not understand why they weren't feeding her. She would bang on the door, begging for water, but none came. She prayed a lot - and her bible gave her comfort. She was in shock.

At one point, they were doing "count" on the floor, and someone screamed into her door to "stand count" (which she did not yet know what that meant). So she stood up and then waited for when she would be told she could once again sit... 45 minutes later, someone came by and asked why she was still standing. She didn't know that the standing was just for the time of count.

I nearly cried hearing this story. My first days here were so very scary. I can not imagine having an experience such as this woman. She was locked up with no ability to communicate with loved ones and lost in the system. Terrifying doesn't begin to explain the emotions one would go through. I hugged her last night, because, to me, she is a survivor. You would never know that she faced such terrifying beginnings here. She usually is a very positive person - the kind of woman who you know only found her way to prison by a real mistake and intends to never find her way back. She is religious, kind, and giving (qualities that are not all that common in prison). I know that I am privileged to have met her.


Since it is a holiday, today is a day they feed us "special" food. For breakfast, we had strawberry frosted flakes and some turnovers. What a treat! They say that later it will be bacon cheeseburgers. I've only seen bacon here once (on another holiday). I don't really want yet another HAMBURGER, but we will see. Yesterday, I had a wonderful lunch in my unit - tuna. Sometimes, it's just better to make one's own meals - expensive, but better!

Finally, I am actually becoming a 'decent' crocheter. I've finished two projects so far (both with mistakes, but the second is far better than the first) and I'm going to keep crocheting. Who knows, maybe it will be a skill I will need as I make my way through the world once released.

Well, my best to all the veterans - including Army!