From Dragonfly: Vivid Colors

I will start by saying that the remainder of my visit with Sporty and T.S. went really well. We finished it with three more pictures, which I will cherish (this time with a white background and chairs). It is fun to watch the other inmates with their family members taking pictures. Sometimes, I never see these inmates smile, but there they are, hugging their children, grandchildren, spouses and/or parents and a smile as bright as the sun is on their face. We are not allowed to touch during the visit - except for a hug/kiss at the beginning and end, but we can hug in our photos, and that touch is so very important. It's a touch that sends a thousand "I love you's" into the heart of the inmate and their family members.

I have been wanting to write about tattoos. People in prison are from ALL walks of life, but one thing that could connect 90% of us is that we have tattoos. I happen to have two tattoos - one is on my left ankle and the second is in a more hidden spot on my body. Neither is large or flashy and neither would be considered "high art," but here, in prison, the art on people's body's is amazing. I'm not just talking about those who are young either. Even South, at 66 years of age, has a nice butterfly tattoo - and others older than her have tattoos. Somehow, tattoos became popular enough that it's crossed boundaries of lifestyle and age. Race does not matter with tattooing either. There are tattoos on people of every racial background here.

Some of the tattoos are incredible and have such vivid colors. There are some people who are highly tattooed, with their arms and legs covered (and I only imagine the rest of their bodies). There are some that have their spouses name tattooed on their ring finger, because they could not bring their lavish ring with them into prison. There are neck tattoos (a lot of them) that are sometimes scary and sometimes incredibly beautiful. One woman has the federal criminal code section that she violated tattooed on her neck. I don't ask questions such as "why?" There are people who get tattooed while in prison - using a needle and ink. So far, I've had two roommates who have been tattooed while I was their roommate. One got a huge star on her wrist, another got the name of her spouse on her ring finger. I am in disbelief that they would risk having dirty needles and unsafe environments for getting tattooed, but I have no idea what the places they were tattooed before being incarcerated were like to compare (I only went to tattoo parlors, but people do tattooing out of their homes and on the streets).  Also, getting tattooed in prison could land you in the SHU - no body alteration of any type is allowed (unless there is a medical reason - such as cutting off a limb or a shaved head due to chemo).

There are people who have tattooed their heads, tattooed their entire legs, tattooed their toes. There are tattoos on shoulders and tattoos on wrists. There are full hand tattoos and tattoos that take up entire torsos. It is so common to see, that I do not even notice the heavily tattooed any more - it is just a part of the experience of prison. Many, many have tattoos of their former gang affiliations. Even the C.O.'s tend to have tattoos. There are tattoos of flowers, tattoos of mermaids, tattoos of ladders and fish and naked bodies and names of loved ones. There are tattoos that say "mother" and tattoos that are ten colors. There are tattoos of Irish symbols and a lot of tattoos of stars. There are tattoos behind ears and some on the back of the neck (not sure why you'd never want to see your tattoo). There are tattoos of finger prints and shoe prints and hammers and nails. Tattoos of babies and tattoos of crosses and many tattoos of skulls. There are tattoos of birds and tattoos of dolphins. There are tattoos you would never imagine would be on a woman and some that you can only imagine on a woman. It seems to not matter what the tattoos are of - just having one connects you to everyone else who has been "inked." I suppose in this one way, I fit in, in prison.

There was talk before I came to prison - by my former advisor (I think I may have mentioned this before) - for me to get a tattoo of my university's symbol. She had told me - "I want you to get the tattoo, so you can always look down and see where you are coming back to." She and I joked about it a month later, when we learned that someone who had tried to burn down a building at my university would also be in Carswell - she said, "ummm, maybe that tattoo is not the best idea now." We laughed. In a way, though, she was serious. She was supporting me so much and knew of my deep love for my university, that an idea of tattooing it's symbol on my body was not out of the question.

Now, I am on a ton of meds and have a lot of medical issues, so actually going through with the tattoo was never going to happen. I dreamed about how it may look, though, perhaps with my word, "hope," somewhere added to the tattoo. I have not been tattooed since I was 21 years of age, but the consideration was there. If I had done that tattoo, I would have worn it proudly - even today, after everything - as I do not blame the entire university for the acts of some people within the school. They still taught me SOOOO much and I appreciate all the opportunities I was provided. For the first time in my life, I actually believed I belonged in an academic setting, earning the degree I was seeking. I still "hope" that the dream is still going to happen, but I have many dreams and I can let go if I must. Just not yet.

So, the woman in Carswell that has no tattoo is the one that feels left out here. One woman, who sits at my table a lot, told everyone that she believes I would not have a tattoo - she believed it of South as well. When we both corrected her, she felt like such a minority. What a weird way for people to "fit in."