From Dragonfly: Anxiety, Anyone?

How do you ensure that you will cause major anxiety for over 550 inmates all at the same time? Let them find out through inmate.com, or ROY (rumor on the yard), that they are all being moved. Then start moving people, slowly, so that everyone starts to wonder, "When am I being moved?" "Who will my roommates be?" "Am I going to be on the first or second floor?" "Can I take my mattress with me?" The other anxiety is around, "I pray I will not be roomed with _______." Unfortunately, for me, I am already roomed with the people whose names fill in that blank. Everyone tells me that I need to get out of my room. If only it were that easy.

So, the anxiety of the "move" started just over a week ago. No staff person ever talked to those of us on 1 South - but they did talk with the people in the other unit that we are trading places with - 1 North. 1 North will become the chronic care unit and 1 South will be the programming unit. This requires moving just about every person in both units. At first, it seemed that people were getting new rooms and new roommates/bunkies. The first larger move started yesterday, 13 rooms on the first floor of 1 South were switched with 1 North. However, people were being moved into different room numbers and those of us left started doing the math... if they move the upper bunks this many people to the left and the lower bunks this many people to the right, my roommates/bunkie will be... We were all anxious and nervous. Everyone has at least one person they could never live with. There's also a lot of mental health issues with people in our unit. I certainly didn't want to be roomed with the woman who washes her clothes while taking a shower, brushes her hair over the trash bin, and dries her hair using the warm air coming off the large ice maker. I, also, didn't want to room with the woman who never stops talking at a very high tone which will wake us up very early each morning. I, also, wouldn't choose to room with the woman who wheezes so bad and loud while she snores, that you can hear it even when in the bathroom.

South moves today, and she is keeping her exact room number and roommates. They are happy. They all get along really, really well. Plus South and one of her roommates leave on February 10th. You would think they wouldn't want to move them to the new unit with them leaving so soon, but they are even moving a woman today who is already packed out and leaving Carswell on Monday. Everyone moves. Period.

The anxiety was over last night for myself and Lola. We both learned that we are moving on Monday (based on a posted list). We are both keeping our rooms and our roommates. Everyone said, "I'm so sorry," to me, while relieved that they were not picking up my bunkie. My bunkie gets a bad rap - she has a foul mouth and starts a lot of fights. But, she is also a nice woman if you don't get on her bad side. I pretty much do my best to stay out of her way and avoid any conflict. I can do that, I did it most of my life with others. I'm not going to worry about it. I can handle more of the same. I've learned to live here, this way. Different is scary, because different can be worse than things already are. In a weird way, I have gained the respect of both my roommates. They actually laugh at me when I swear, and always ask me how to spell words. They think I'm incredibly naive and narrow and don't belong in prison. I like that they think that way. To me, that's not an insult.

So, at 7:45 am on Monday, I will be moving from my current room to the room bearing the same number across the narrow hallway that separates 1N and 1S. It's a hallway we are not allowed down without permission and I've only been inside 1N on two occasions in the past. It looks a lot like 1S, but has something like 2 more rooms on each side. It is set up almost backwards from our unit. They've just redone the bathrooms/showers on the first floor (except for two showers from my understanding). I am looking forward to showering on a cleaner and newer surface (still wearing my shower shoes, of course).

As for the rest of my pals, like Nurse, Mama, and others, we do not yet know when they will be moving and if they will stay in their same rooms. They are in upstairs level rooms. Given how this move is going, anything is possible - it could be days, weeks, or months. They don't tell us anything. So, it just keeps the anxiety going for them. I'll miss having South in my unit for the weekend, but glad we will be together, once again, on Monday. My anxiety will be over, once my things are fully moved, and I'm laying back on my mattress, which I am taking with me.