From Dragonfly: Happy New Year

It's finally 2014, and I'm not sure anyone counts down years the way we do in prison. For me, 2014 will be the year I go home. With those who are here for a long time, a new year counts as a year closer to going home. That's what we all think, all the time; "When am I going home?"

Anyway, I haven't been top shape lately, so my new year's eve was nothing great. I did go to eat kielbasa sausage in the chow hall (no special dinner last night) with Lola, South, and Appeal. I don't think any of us finished the food --- which is typical. They are planning on having "steak and shrimp" for dinner tonight. It's the only time of year that we will get either of these items. I'm sure it's flank steak, and there won't be any A-1 sauce, but it's steak!!!! I hear the shrimp is popcorn shrimp and on a skewer. Whatever it is, I will try it with an open mind.

I guess they let everyone in the unit stay up really late last night --- hours past the 11:30pm bedtime that is usual. I wouldn't know, because I slept through it. I slept starting at 8pm, got up for 9:30 count, and went back to bed by 10pm. I slept through a ton of screaming at midnight (I did have my ear plugs in, but they aren't usually that good), and when I first woke at 2:30am, everyone was in their rooms. It was as if a huge party had not occurred the night before, because I was totally unaware of it!

I usually like to celebrate New Years with friends. We may just play games, see a movie, attend a small party, but it doesn't need to be anything special. It's special just because of who I am with. I guess that's true for last night, too. I am so grateful to have the friends I've made while in Carswell. We all need people to lean on, who can fully understand our situation. Those who imagine keeping to themselves the entire time in prison, will be sadder and lonely. The key is to find people who have positive energy and share the same with them. That's what we all need, a little laughter, some positive thoughts, and someone to talk with through the realities of this experience.

I hope I never forget what it's like to be in prison. I want to ensure I don't leave anyone behind when I walk out the doors. People like Freckles, Lola, and Appeal will be here for another couple years. I need to send them cards and letters. I know how important mail call is. For me, I will forever be connected to the realities of imprisonment. I will choose to live in the day, but I will not forget. I guess that's my New Years resolution.