From Dragonfly: Being Extraordinary

What is the difference between being ordinary and being extraordinary? I believe it is in how you carry yourself, how you carry your past, and how you view the future. Someone extraordinary will view the past as the past, and find lessons learned, adventures taken, and changes achieved as a part of their life experience. They will not hide from the past, but they will not live in the past either. They will confidently carry themselves through the present, knowing that they are not perfect, yet trying to do the best they can at any given moment. They will view the future as open-ended and a journey, not knowing the exact end point, but continuing to have goals and trying to reach them; not seeing it a failure if they fall short as a new door may be opening.

Why am I writing this? Well, I think people thought me extraordinary when I was living my two lives - the public one and the private one. My public life looked like all these things, but in reality, I privately hated myself and didn't believe I deserved any success or good to life. Looking back on my life up to the age of 35, I was just an ordinary person, faking being extraordinary.

Today, I will strive to be extraordinary, although as with anyone, I will fall short much of the time. I find myself engaging in the gossip of this place (it's hard not to) or feeling limited as to my future (which I know is the opposite of what lays ahead for me). I am my own worst enemy - we all are, don't you think? We let our minds take us to negative places, for the mere fact that we allow it to happen. If we strive for extraordinary, we will know that we are just feeling fear or anxiety, and let those feelings go, as we face each new day with hope.

I know that I am extraordinary. I know that you are extraordinary. Everyone can be extraordinary, if they allow themselves the peace and hope that surrounds that vision. No matter what has been done to us or what we have done, it's how we carry these things, talk about these things, and learn from these things that make us extraordinary. We can be victims the rest of our lives, or we can be survivors and teachers and helpers. We can view our experiences as opportunities to help others, no matter whether they were positive or negative experiences. It's all in how we see our time here on earth. The world does not revolve around us, but we are part of this world, put here to make it a better place. Well, that's what I believe anyway.

So, I'm going to start this day, and each day following today in prison, with thinking, "today I will be extraordinary." Today, I will have hope that my journey is what it is because it is making me a more extraordinary person. There's nothing wrong with being ordinary, in fact, instead of everyone thinking me extraordinary, I hope they see me as ordinary. There's comfort in just fitting in and not standing out. What matters is what I know about myself and how I can strive to make every day matter.