From Dragonfly: The Revolving Door

Some say that prison has a revolving door. Something like 65-85% of us are expected back on a violation of our supervision or a new charge. I see some of the people here, who become institutionalized. I can't imagine how they'll fare in the outside world. Others, however, first time offenders, usually (but not always) white collar criminals, of all ages and races, I believe have that ability to really turn their life back into something great after leaving here. This place scared them to the point they'd never come back. Not only that, they've gotten past whatever desperation it was that led to their crime. Although, others, are actually likely innocent, too. Most of the people I hang out with I anticipate being in the small percentage and walking out of prison never to return. I truly do. Maybe that makes me naive. I don't know.

This week, two of the women I believe will never return walked out. One is waiting to get released right now, another left Tuesday. The one leaving today, Neighbor, I have not written about much, but she's been included in writings about sitting in the atrium with "friends." Honestly, she hasn't been here all that long. She was transferred at the very end of her sentence and spent just a couple months with us. I call her Neighbor, because she grew up in the town next to mine. The same town my sister lived in as an adult, and my grandparents had called home for 20+ years. Although she went to Catholic schools, our experiences were much more similar, than different. She's a decade older than I, but it was still like talking to an old school friend reminiscing about our favorite restaurants and places. When most people leave, I say, "I hope to never see you again, and I mean that in the best possible sense." We all live so very far from one another and I can't imagine our paths ever crossing, unless for the worst possible reason - prison. However, when Neighbor left today, I said, "I look forward to seeing you again." It's just that possible that when I travel to see my parents, I may just run into her. Nothing like having a friend from the old neighborhood!!!

The other woman who left this week, couldn't be more different from me. Although she looks younger than even I do, she's a mom of several children. She had a drug related charge, but she'd never been involved in the law before in her life. She was my student, bringing extra math home every night to study. She hadn't yet passed, but I believe she will do so back home. She's very motivated. She has a full "grill." I've never seen so much gold in a mouth before. She pulls it off incredibly well. She was Lola's bunky, and they got along fabulously. This woman was just kind, intelligent, interesting, and caring. All she wanted to do was be home with her family. She's there now. I believe, she will not find her way back here. She was as freaked out by the experiences here as I am. She sees a very different path in her life now, and I believe she can do it. Just stay motivated... and don't fret over the bumps in the road!!!

Anyway, it's still a revolving door, because each of these women won't be out a day before a new woman is sleeping in their bunk, starting their journey in prison. A large group of new women just arrived and another is arriving this week. Some will have been here before. Some are being transferred from other institutions. Some are scary eyed, self surrenders, who are afraid to leave their bunks (like I was). Some will be here (or in some institution) for most of their lives. Some will swear they are innocent. Some will be appealing their sentence. Some will get jobs. Some will have to spend most of the day in pill line. Some will seek immediate transfer out of here (good luck!), and others will die here. It's that kind of place. I will never see it again. I will never be in prison again. Thank god, I'm not stuck in the revolving door!