From Dragonfly: All in Proper Perspective

I met a woman the other night. She'd been talking with Taz, and mentioned that she'd been reading online about preparing to self-surrender. She'd brought all the things she needed. She knew what she needed to do about her health records. She knew what kind of watch she could bring. Turns out, she was reading the site. At some point, Taz asked her, "Do you want to meet her?" and for some reason she was flabbergasted that she could. Taz went to find me.

The woman is older than I by about 20 years, appears very well educated, and like so many of us, had never been in trouble before. This whole experience is causing her much anxiety. Nothing can quite prepare you for being here. She told me about how she read the site almost every day. She actually had tears as she told me how helpful it was to her. This brought tears to my eyes as well; in addition to a softness in my heart. If even one person can be helped just in the slightest bit, then that means that one less person has to be a deer in headlights walking through the gate. I am so grateful to have this outlet and that others have found it helpful to them.

Prior to incarceration, I knew there was a "purpose" for my sentence, a reason I was put so far away from my friends/family, a need for me to be here. I said that I was unsure if it was for someone else, or for me. Now, I know it is for both. I have truly grown through this experience. A quote I recently read stated:

"Success is a result of good judgment. Good judgment is a result of experience. Experience is often a result of bad judgment."

We usually learn more through our mistakes than we do from anything else. It is a process of trial and error throughout life that makes us strong, and who we are.

I'm not going to say that the purpose of my incarceration was just to impact other people, or even to grow myself. I'm here because I committed a crime. I hurt many wonderful people and a community that held me as their leader. The person I became through my addiction is not the person I was meant to be. However, I cannot hold regret. Every trial and tribulation in my life leads me to where I need to be. I am better able to have compassion, better able to help others, better able to teach, and better able to find my own happiness, because of the mistakes I've made in my life; the twists and turns off of my path and goals; and the vast amount of people from all walks of life that I've had the privilege to meet and get to know.

One of those people, is the woman I met the other night. She will be here long after I am gone. Her journey through incarceration is just beginning. If I was able to give her just one less restless night's sleep, or helped her laugh when everything seemed to be coming apart in her life, then I shall know that there's a reason for everything... and there is.