From Dragonfly: Friends

Friendships are very temporary in prison. People come and go - some are forgotten, some never are. Today, my friend whose bus ticket didn't work 10 days ago is once again leaving. She's one that will never be forgotten, at least by me and many other people.

As much as friend's go, new people arrive daily. Some you immediately 'click' with, others you don't. In just these past couple weeks, I have gotten close to a new handful of people - Cali, Smiles, and a few others. They are just beginning their journeys, while mine is near it's end. I will see if I am allowed to keep in touch, but I know the rules while on home confinement/supervision are very strict about who we can and who we cannot communicate with. Even if I can't send them letters/email, they will be on my mind. I'll be praying that they can go closer to home and that they are out sooner than initially expected. Cali has big dreams - law school, helping others... she needs to be out there and not in here! She's an idealist - reminds me of myself a bit, when I also chased similar dreams.

I spend my nights, now, still with Lola at the Rec, playing RummyKube. Then I am in my unit, and I spend time with my unit friends. I made a game yesterday - a question game. It sits in a box that once housed Gefilte Fish from Passover. So, we call the game "Gefilte Fish" which makes us all laugh. The questions are "getting to know you" type about all kinds of issues. Everyone is enjoying playing it - at one point we had 9 of us sitting on chairs under the staircase playing yesterday. Some women only wanted to answer questions about sex, but there were questions like, "who would you like to meet from history," or "if you could plan the perfect dinner party, who would you invite," or "describe your best friend," or "if you could work any profession, what would it be and why?" Of course, there are questions about body and sexuality, but it is balanced with so many other types of questions. It is kind of like a board game called "Cowgirls," that I play with my best friends back home. I have a feeling we will have many evenings of playing Gefilte Fish and laughing as we get to know one another even better.

If you are headed in to prison, don't worry about friends. It will happen. There are so many different kinds of women here. We all mesh with someone. Even the ones that seem to have severe mental health issues, have friends. If you are not wanting to be friends with people who are unlike you, well, there are people here just like you. It's very diverse in prison, and you will find yourself someone you can spend time with. It's something you really do not need to worry about.

it's 27 days and a wake up now for me (and for Red). Red has her travel plans already, I'm still waiting for my papers back from region. A young woman who is supposed to leave in under two weeks, hasn't received her papers back yet. Stories like those scare me. We both stand often at our case manager's door, waiting for a moment to check --- "Are they here yet?" Then our brains inevitably go to those bad places, "What if they never received our papers?" "What if I won't be released on that day?" What if, what if, what if... The waiting game is hard.

However, even as I wait, I am not alone in my waiting. People are here to support us and understand what we are going through. Friendship happens in prison. Laughter happens in prison. Support happens in prison. A little game called "Gefilte Fish" may even bring new people into your circle. It helps make the wait to leave a little less stressful.