From Dragonfly: Starting Over

Today, we officially know that I am not in the system, yet, for heading home. It appears that neither region knows anything about my paperwork. So, my case worker was asked to send it again via email. She did. What I don't understand is, in this age of technology and secured servers, why don't they send it via email to begin with? We have no idea where the other set of my papers went, but I'm not processed for release, yet, which means it will once again be a waiting game.

I've heard rumors of people being expedited, but I'm not sure what that looks like in terms of time to be processed. If it takes the 26 day average, I will be processed on the day I am supposed to leave, meaning, I would not be leaving that day. I pray that they choose to expedite me and, somehow, in a week or two, we will know I'm leaving on my home confinement date. Otherwise, it could be any date between then and July 2nd. So, no matter what, two months from today, I will be home.

These last few weeks have been hard, and yet I am feeling content. At least, as content as one can be in prison. Freckles and I were talking today, as we walked a mile around the track, about how this experience has changed us. I guess Joy said something to Sporty about this experience changing me, and no doubt it has. Freckles and I started with some positive things - like we are stronger. We see the school system differently. We see drug charges differently. We see entitlement differently. We are more connected with our minds and bodies. We accept things easier. We know we can help make a difference and use this experience to help others. I am more feminine (sounds funny, but true... I love wearing my hair in braids and my hair has grown substantially!). I also love the smells of the perfume/cologne ads in magazines (I always ignored them in the past).

There were also bad things. For example, we despise bureaucracy even more. I jump at the slightest loud sound or distraction. It's hard to trust what people say to me. Medical care can not always be trusted. I have less compassion (something that Freckles and I said is inevitable when we have to walk around people having seizures or having four people die in the same week). There are so many changes - and we will probably know them when people point them out. We've had a short sentence, but it's become reality for us. Oh, I don't know if I ever want to wear grey or Khaki again!!!

Even with what's happening with my father, I am feeling okay. I have made new friends lately that make me laugh - as does Taz. I love my time with Lola and Freckles. Red does a good job getting me to get out of any negativity and to think positive. I can face this new challenge. I've faced many others and I'm stronger for doing so.