Furlough

I am sitting at Au Bon Pain at DFW airport eating a toasted bagel with cream cheese. It's the first bagel I've enjoyed in 10 months. I have about an hour until I take off. My morning was full of emotions, and, yet, now I'm here. I'm on furlough to the RRC (halfway house). Legally, I'm still in custody.

Sleep was difficult last night - but I did get 4-5 hours. At 5:30am, I got up and started getting ready - change out of a pair of grey shorts and t-shirt into a different clean and ironed grey shorts and t-shirt. Pack my last minute items - book light, pillow cover, book, water bottle, and attempt to zipper my bag. People came to me and hugged me, wishing me luck. I stood with the Third one, waiting for the announcement that food service is open - announced at 6:05am, which is when we are allowed to leave the unit.

Taz walked with me and Freckles met us outside. I could already tell that Freckles would cry - happy tears. We've literally gotten each other through this experience. She'll be leaving in just over a month - so she's right behind me. Unfortunately, Taz still has a couple years.

Taz stood at the line with my overflowing grey bag, while I went down to the chow hall with Freckles. Two bites of a bad bagel and about 10oz. of mile and I got up to go back to the line - anxiety was hitting me. Taz took off to get some breakfast and I stood in like with Freckles, Red, and the Third one. People kept walking by and at least one of us was being hugged. A lot of "don't come back!" was uttered.

Another wait as the mail line started to form behind us - and then we heard keys. An officer held our files and called us to follow him to R&D. I hugged Freckles and Taz one last time and down the hall I went. It was only my second time in R&D. The lock-up cells lining the left wall. I remembered back to my first day and sitting there with Chi as we were processed in.

As we walked in, the officer opened a cell and told Red to have a seat on the concrete built-in bench. He closed the door and locked it. She has a detainer from her home city and we didn't know if they'd come and pick her up or let her come home first. For months, she's been trying to get an answer. She has young kids at home and is needed there. We prayed she'd be busing out today. She gave me her mother-in-laws (MIL) phone number just in case the Marshall's did come for her.

The Third one and I got processed - another thumb print, signatures, see if my clothes arrived (nope!!), etc. I peaked through the cell window at Red when I could. I hated that she sat in that room alone and no one knew yet if she would be going home or with the Marshalls.

When the Third one was being processed out, the paperwork had a big mistake - she's supposed to be flying out - but in her pocket they'd showed she was busing it - for like 3 days. Even I know that she was supposed to fly - she's a care level 4 (the highest!). She got super mad, had "words" with the officer for a while. I felt powerless. Finally, the officer told us to follow him to the business office. I put my hand on Red's cell window, not knowing if I'd see her again.

About 7:15am, we went to the business office. They talked a long time and wah-lah, they found the Third one's plane ticket! Once again, have they never done their jobs before?

Freckled happened to walk by and so we got one more good hug in. She was waterwords this time. She will always be a good friend - we have South to thank for connecting us!

When I got up to the business office window, they handed me cash for my taxi and meals - $69, and a debit card with my personal balance $3.15! I can't even us and ATM to withdraw that amount. But, hey, it's like almost what I made my first month working in prison. It's valuable to me. The debit card is from the BOP, has my name on it, AND it has my prison photo!! The height chart behind me and all! That's something to be proud of - ha!!

Many of my former students came by to hug and thank me. I told them to continue learning, some to go to college. We exchanged warm hugs!

We walked back to R&D, past everyone in line for records, the mail room, and property. They watched us, with our grey bags - we were leaving. Lots of waves and "good luck" and we were back at R&D. Peeking in at Red, she motioned that she's not going home. I also heard the C.O.'s talking about waiting for the Marshalls to arrive. She is going to county to be picked up within 30 days to then be brought back to her home state and stand before a judge. I can only imagine what is going on in her head, but I was very sad. I don't like leaving someone I care about facing the unknown alone. She's strong (much stronger than me), though, and she'll pray and at least she'll be out of Cars-Hell! Good thing I have the number to call her MIL.

The C.O. then processed our medications - I received my seven self-carry meds for 30 days and, later, a large box with my enbryl on ice packs. Now, I had to squeeze the medication into my bag and start carrying the now pretty light but LARGE box, with no handle. The Third one had to help me stuff the medications in my grey bag. I received a cd of my medical records as well :-)

As we walked to the exit gate, Freckles was there once again - waving and screaming goodbye. What a friend!!!

I'm on the plane now - waiting for take-off. I had priority boarding and a window seat. Other than my dark greys, and see through grey bag, you'd never know I was a felon on furlough. Anyway, back to leaving.

We headed to the security office at the prison, received our envelopes with our cash and tickets and I was given my box of medication and we were then brought to a white van. the can is considered a "town car," and is driven by two women inmates from the camp. Nearly every day, their job consists of taking inmates who are leaving to the airport and bus terminals. Quite a different job than those available to us behind the fence.

We dropped a camp inmate who'd been down six years to the front gate first. Her family was supposed to pick her up at 7am. We were there at 8am and there was no sign of them. So, we had to leave her at the visitor's center. I hope she found her family!

We then started our drive out of Fort Worth, past Cowboy's Stadium, past Six Flags and Hurricane Harbor, and finally toward the airport. The Third one and I were each dropped at different terminals to catch our flights. Security is always a nightmare when carrying liquid medication. It can't go through the x-ray, so I have to ask for a hand search. My other stuff went through the x-ray and I go through the fancy machine where I have to put my hands over my head and it puts an image of me on a screen - all clear.

Then I am pulled to the secured area. I'm told I have to be pat down due to my needing a hand check. I say, "I know, no problem, been through that before." They don't know that just recently I learned the correct stand for a pat down. I turn around and put my arms out and she tells me that I should face her - okay, that didn't work at Carswell last week! As she does her pat down, she informs me of how and what she is doing at each step ("the back of my hand will now go under your breast"). Another thing that doesn't happen at Carswell. My body, my medication, and my bag are all cleared and the NTSB guy builds me a handle for my large box out of NTSB tape. Now, I don't have to use two hands to carry it. I thank him and find my way to the gate.

I called Red's MIL, but only get her voicemail. I left a message about the Marshalls, hating that I had to leave a message. I'll try calling again later.

The plane just took off and I'm flying out of Texas. My furlough ends in about five hours. I'll likely sleep through most of it. Thank god I brought my earplugs. Turns out a chatty-Cathy who is on her 2nd flight ever wants to tell her life story to her neighbor right behind me. I'm looking down on clouds.