Nervous

I want to write that I got this and I'm holding my head up high and can take on the world. Reality is that I'm totally nervous. I'm sitting on the first floor of my school of education building waiting to meet with a professor I don't know and tell her my whole story in hopes she will support me joining her department... Even though the department works collaboratively with my old department a lot. It's a good match for my interests, but I can't help but feel like I'm sitting somewhere I'm not wanted.

A professor I took a class with, and even traveled overseas with, walked by a bit ago. He saw me, I saw him, so I said, "hi," and he said, "how are you," and I said, "good, thanks," with a smile on my face. He kept walking and I kept sitting, but my stomach dropped. If the department doesn't know I'm back in town yet, they will now. It's okay, just everything makes me nervous.

I actually don't care what they think of me. In fact, I look so much better than the last time they saw me. Plus I'm more confident in a good way. This place just used to feel like home to me, I pray it will again.

In order to not get stuck in my head, I walked next store and found T.S. having lunch. It was my first time ever bumping into her on campus, as I was gone her whole freshman year. She sat, talked to me and hugged me when I headed back to the school of Ed. She took the parent role for that minute. 

I need to concentrate on all the good in my life and get my head away from the "what ifs."I know, easier said than done. Entirely possible, though. I just have to remember, no one gets to tell me that I don't deserve my education! I'm here to move forward, not stare at my past. This is a perfect time for the serenity prayer.

SERENITY, ACCEPTANCE, COURAGE, WISDOM