Step 7

"7. Humbly asked God (of our understanding) to remove our shortcomings."

Step seven in gamblers anonymous (and most 12 step programs) reminds us that we are not necessarily able to remove all our personality and emotional defects on our own. They are a part of us, some we may not even know exist or we may not know how to describe, but they pain us or others and add difficulty to our lives. Our goal is to tackle such shortcomings one at a time and find healthier ways of thinking and living.

I must admit, I'm being tested on my ability to "let go," "have patience," "accept what seems unlikely," and just release it all to my higher power. I am one resolved to do just that. For six years doing so has never steered me wrong and I know, really know, that this time will be no different.

I'm obviously talking about the University. I'm obviously admitting that I did not hear anything today. Friday's workday came and went and I did not hear a peep about the hold on my registration and enrollment. 

This is what I must do. The department of criminal justice told me to assume that the hold will be lifted and to attend orientation Tuesday and my class Wednesday. My boss has me working, with no pay, my fall hours, assuming the same hold is being lifted. Everyone is just moving forward being positive, and doing their part.

I shall continue to do the same. I spent so much time looking to see if I had a new email today, that Sporty and T.S. Did me a favor and took my phone from me for an hour. I'm glad I had to have that anxiety break. Nothing will change this weekend, so that's another 48 hour break. Truth is, it doesn't even matter if news comes Monday or Tuesday, now, because I'm already attending class next week no matter what. 

I'm just going for it. That's what all the messages are telling me to do. I may be the crazy woman who can't even take a library book out because she's on hold in the system, but I'm going back to school next week. I think I'll start listening to the messages I'm receiving and not all the self defeating talk in my head. (Note to self - ask God to remove self defeating talk from my head when able...).