The Building Anticipation

I can't help myself. I'm excited for this weekend. It is my weekend that is about friendship, recovery, laughter, sharing, growth, serenity, nature, and so much more. Six years ago, when the first weekend occurred, some of us were practically strangers to one another, and not all of us were yet a part of this group. We had 7 of us that first year and 6 of us are still a part of it - we now have a group of 11. It was intended to be a women's recovery retreat, but we are now the cowgirls, all in G.A., all with years of recovery, and all growing in our recovery as the years go by. 

I for one know how lucky I am to have this particular group of incredible women as my friends. I wouldn't trade any of them in for anyone else. Each one of them is unique and special. They all have the ability to make me laugh and we share the trust that makes tears just as likely. None of us are perfect, nor do we pretend to be, which makes all of us perfect as a group. We accept that we are degenerates, laugh at our inadequacies, and most of all, genuinely care about one another's lives.

We often laugh when we are out together imagining how anyone would guess how this group formed. We vary in age over a 30+ year span, we vary racially, we vary by sexual orientation, marital status, parenthood, some are grandparents, others raising babies,..., some retired, others in college, ... Well, you get the idea. Are we a bowling league? Church group? Nope, just a bunch of best girlfriends in recovery who share a lot in common, even if by the looks of it, we share little in common.

Our retreat will be on about 4 1/2 acres of land owned by my aunt and nicknamed decades ago by my grandfather a Yiddish word for crazy. The land is incredibly serene, with blueberry bushes, a small and large pond, bird feeders, many plants, gardens, and even a blue ceramic cow (don't ask). The house is not set up for 11 to sleep, but we don't care. There are beds that sleep four, and we bring air mattresses to accommodate the rest of us. It's actually quite cozy and regardless of our ages, we find ourselves getting a good night's sleep. 

My favorite place is the screened in porch that I've found peace in since I was a child visiting the land. Aside from seeing my friends, I am looking forward to just sitting in that room, closing my eyes, and releasing as much stress as I can. There is a positive energy there that I cannot define, but I imagine most people have a place in their lives that gives them pure calmness and peace. For me, it is there.

Last year, my friends momentarily considered canceling their weekend because I couldn't be there (incarceration and all). I'm so glad it was only for a second and that they knew the retreat was as much about each of them as it was about me. This year, though, I can't wait to have us all there together. It'll actually be the first time we are all there together in a couple of years. Everyone needs this retreat, not just me, and I can't wait to be part of their weekend memories as well.