Last week I went right up to the prison warden and told him about my "camp" transfer approval from October and that I was repeatedly told that that clearance had never occurred. Well, I guess that got things moving, because I just received an email from the Warden's email letting me know that my "exit" paperwork (i.e. transfer to the camp) is being processed. Looks like I will actually be going there to finish out my sentence. Not sure when, but this is definitely a cog in that direction.
Meanwhile, I am still waiting on medical to sign the form that allows my case worker to send off my halfway house request papers. It'll be a good 60 days before we know my fate, once those are sent. My current case worker promised that she will stay on getting it processed, even though I will have a different case worker at the camp.
Obviously, one piece of my move that I am not happy about, is the fact that at some time in the near future, I will need to resign my job in education. The good news is that my 'newish' co-tutor is excellent and the transition will go very smoothly (I believe) for the students and my supervising teacher. I am scheduled to teach two new ACE classes starting in just a couple weeks (Employment Skills I and Word Problems), but I believe I already have tutors who are willing to replace me in those courses. I would have really enjoyed working with the students in those areas. I will see if I can get hired by the education department at the camp, but knowing that I have only months left, I don't believe I would be a good candidate. I will try though.
South leaves on Monday - just 2 days and a wake-up. I guess those wheels are turning as well. She chose the scenic 24 hour bus ride home, rather than have her family fly her home. I'm not sure I would ever choose the bus ride, but she wants to take pictures of places she sees and get the "down time" before she is inundated by family. I can totally understand the need to clear our head fog once we leave here. I'll probably want to lock myself in my bedroom for days... although, I won't. I know that there are many, many people awaiting my release, and I will want their hugs as well.
The wheels are also turning on my attempts to get back into school. Sporty sent me a GRE study book and I am learning about the new GRE test. When I took it a couple years back, it was a different test. The scoring is totally different, now, as well as the exact contents of the test. Plus, we can now use a calculator on the mathematics sections. Sometimes, using a calculator is a hindrance, so I think I'll practice with both the calculator and without. Plus, the screen calculator does not have all the "magic" keys on it - like the fractions or exponents keys. I like the challenge of some of the difficult questions in the study book. They are certainly a step higher than in my GED courses, but still it only goes up to Geometry (just like the GED).
When I do transfer, I will be very sad leaving Lola behind. Her sentence is much longer than mine and we are the best of buddies. Once at the camp, I will not be allowed (or able) to communicate with her at all. She needs to get her wheels turning on getting transferred to the camp, too. That will be awesome, but not knowing if she will get there, especially before my "out" date, will be sad. Everyone needs a friend here, and she's one of the few I trust. I will also miss my morning conversations with Freckles. She's been a shining light (so positive) since I arrived here. She will leave in about 9 months from now. In the meantime, we will have no communication either. Sometimes, the rules of making friendships and then leaving them behind suck!
A friend sent me a Looney Tunes cross stitch pattern book and I'm excited to get back to my room and finish designing a "tweetie bird" on a plastic canvas. That will be my highlight of the day. But at least, the wheels keep on turning.
A blog about a woman sentenced to one year and one day in a federal women's prison camp and was sent to FMC Carswell for a crime related to her history of compulsive gambling.
Highlights
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Saturday, February 8, 2014
Friday, February 7, 2014
From Dragonfly: Normalcy
It's so easy to write about things that are different about being incarcerated, and funny observations, but I realize that I've not written much about the normal behavior of so many here. So, here's a list to consider:
- Many people get up early to get ready for work. Some like their jobs, some dislike them. They go to work because they have to. They do not make as much money as they think they should, but they are grateful for a paycheck nonetheless.
- Many women are very into making sure their hair looks good every day. They will buy products to help their hair be straighter or curlier. They will have it done in a salon. They will color the roots and get rid of the grey. They will have someone who is excellent at braiding, design their new braided hairdo.
- Similarly, many women will not leave the unit without making up their face. They purchase way too expensive eye shadow, eye pencils, lipstick, blush, foundation, and much more to beautify their faces before going out.
- There are women who are doing the best job they can as parents. They call their kids every night. They sing lullabies to them. They listen to their kids talk about their days and encourage them to do their homework. They pray for their kids' wellness and they worry about them all the time.
- There are women going through menopause. They are dealing with "having their personal summers," trying to get on the right hormone treatments or going natural, their bodies changing, and the emotional ups and downs of the change.
- Some women are working hard to save their marriages. They are doing anything in their power to help build trust and communication between themselves and their spouse.
- On the other hand, there are women going through divorce. Some women started the process themselves, surprising their husband with the divorce papers or having come to agreement already for the divorce. There are women who have been surprised in here with divorce papers or husband's having affairs. Some women are only here for less than a year, but keeping a relationship going on the outside can be quite difficult.
- Some women believe they don't deserve any happiness. Their past relationships, crimes, and/or just low self-esteem leads them to feel that they deserve nothing good in their life. They don't apply for the second chance act because they don't think they deserve it. They don't get into healthy relationships, because they don't think they deserve it. So many women on the outside struggle with these same issues.
- There are real tears of joy and tears of sadness.
- There are many women trying to get through school - GED, cosmetology, apprenticeship, college courses... They are learning concepts that are foreign to them in order to get a step up in life. They need to balance their school with the demands of work, a tight schedule, and maintain some social life. So many women have these struggles outside as well.
- There are so many women fighting illness. They are dealing with the strain of an uncertain future, some going through chemo and radiation, others suddenly finding themselves in wheel chairs. They struggle to keep up their spirits.
- There are women reading newspapers and doing crosswords to bide their time. Just yesterday I was laughing after dinner. Lola and Appeal were reading sections of USA Today, while I worked on a plastic canvas project. I laughed and said, "this is not the image people think of when they consider prison." We are three women, one in her 40's one 50's and one 60's. We are intelligent, capable, and giving of our time. We want to know the news of the world and can have good conversations around what we are reading in the paper. Images such as this one is common, and it's so normal.
- There are women who will do anything for a cigarette (not allowed in prison). With so many laws on the outside about no smoking that people defy, there are the same defiers within prison. They just need that tobacco stick to relieve their anxiety.
- Women read books. They read a lot of books. There are some women reading as many as five or more books a week. They love a good read and are always searching for a series or an author to love.
- There are women who love to clean. They get rid of stress by deep cleaning their room, their locker, or even the atrium. It gives them joy to see a clean floor and dust-free surface.
There is a lot of normalcy here. For each women, it's a different normal - just like on the outside. Prison can mean a lot of change and difference, but not everything is different. We are still the women we were before we walked behind the fence. Some of us actually become better people in prison. Some women lose themselves here, but not all. The key is to do your time, but not let the time do you.
- Many people get up early to get ready for work. Some like their jobs, some dislike them. They go to work because they have to. They do not make as much money as they think they should, but they are grateful for a paycheck nonetheless.
- Many women are very into making sure their hair looks good every day. They will buy products to help their hair be straighter or curlier. They will have it done in a salon. They will color the roots and get rid of the grey. They will have someone who is excellent at braiding, design their new braided hairdo.
- Similarly, many women will not leave the unit without making up their face. They purchase way too expensive eye shadow, eye pencils, lipstick, blush, foundation, and much more to beautify their faces before going out.
- There are women who are doing the best job they can as parents. They call their kids every night. They sing lullabies to them. They listen to their kids talk about their days and encourage them to do their homework. They pray for their kids' wellness and they worry about them all the time.
- There are women going through menopause. They are dealing with "having their personal summers," trying to get on the right hormone treatments or going natural, their bodies changing, and the emotional ups and downs of the change.
- Some women are working hard to save their marriages. They are doing anything in their power to help build trust and communication between themselves and their spouse.
- On the other hand, there are women going through divorce. Some women started the process themselves, surprising their husband with the divorce papers or having come to agreement already for the divorce. There are women who have been surprised in here with divorce papers or husband's having affairs. Some women are only here for less than a year, but keeping a relationship going on the outside can be quite difficult.
- Some women believe they don't deserve any happiness. Their past relationships, crimes, and/or just low self-esteem leads them to feel that they deserve nothing good in their life. They don't apply for the second chance act because they don't think they deserve it. They don't get into healthy relationships, because they don't think they deserve it. So many women on the outside struggle with these same issues.
- There are real tears of joy and tears of sadness.
- There are many women trying to get through school - GED, cosmetology, apprenticeship, college courses... They are learning concepts that are foreign to them in order to get a step up in life. They need to balance their school with the demands of work, a tight schedule, and maintain some social life. So many women have these struggles outside as well.
- There are so many women fighting illness. They are dealing with the strain of an uncertain future, some going through chemo and radiation, others suddenly finding themselves in wheel chairs. They struggle to keep up their spirits.
- There are women reading newspapers and doing crosswords to bide their time. Just yesterday I was laughing after dinner. Lola and Appeal were reading sections of USA Today, while I worked on a plastic canvas project. I laughed and said, "this is not the image people think of when they consider prison." We are three women, one in her 40's one 50's and one 60's. We are intelligent, capable, and giving of our time. We want to know the news of the world and can have good conversations around what we are reading in the paper. Images such as this one is common, and it's so normal.
- There are women who will do anything for a cigarette (not allowed in prison). With so many laws on the outside about no smoking that people defy, there are the same defiers within prison. They just need that tobacco stick to relieve their anxiety.
- Women read books. They read a lot of books. There are some women reading as many as five or more books a week. They love a good read and are always searching for a series or an author to love.
- There are women who love to clean. They get rid of stress by deep cleaning their room, their locker, or even the atrium. It gives them joy to see a clean floor and dust-free surface.
There is a lot of normalcy here. For each women, it's a different normal - just like on the outside. Prison can mean a lot of change and difference, but not everything is different. We are still the women we were before we walked behind the fence. Some of us actually become better people in prison. Some women lose themselves here, but not all. The key is to do your time, but not let the time do you.
Thursday, February 6, 2014
From Dragonfly: When It Is Hard To Stay Positive
I admit that some days I struggle with trying to stay positive. I get so frustrated with everything and my mood gets sour. But, I certainly don't want to spend the next several months in such negativity, so I have to find peace within myself some way. One thing I keep reminding myself, is that I will not be here forever. I try to think of Nelson Mandela or people suffering in the Holocaust, and perspective helps a lot. This is just one year of my life. There are people in the rooms around me who will, literally, spend the last days of their lives here (or in some prison somewhere). I, also, received a sentence far below the minimum standards, so I am here for far less time than I could have been. I need to be grateful for all of that, and not maintain a bad mood.
Honestly, my favorite part of the day, is the minutes between 9:30pm count and 10pm, when I am getting all snugly in my bed and know that I will fall asleep soon. One issue is that my fatigue is extremely heightened right now, but, also, it will be another day gone by and a day closer to getting home. I used to suffer from extreme insomnia. Not since I got sick. Now, I could sleep all day long if I am allowed to. It's been that way for the past 1 1/2 years, and sometimes it is a real struggle to stay awake in the afternoons, but I do. So, when it's officially time to lie down for the night, and get a good 6-8 hours of sleep, my body is more than happy to comply.
I no longer wake up surprised by my surroundings. That will probably happen next when I am in the comfort of my own bed. Instead, I expect the cinder block squares staring me in the face. I expect the light snores of my roommates. I expect the hard, cold, concrete floors when I walk, slowly, to the bathroom. Slowly because I hurt when I wake and I need time to wake up my joints and muscles. I'm not the only one who walks quite stiffly in the morning. In fact, just this morning I was thinking about how we must all look like zombies, slowly, and stiffly, walking ourselves to the restroom in the morning. We do not say anything, but maybe "grunt" a 'hello' as we pass one another, for fear of waking up folks. Zombies, yep, that's what we are.
By the time I head to breakfast with Freckles, I'm usually much more limber. Just the walk between the housing unit and the hospital in this freezing weather will wake anyone up. I head to the email room and wait for Freckles to meet me. Then, we head downstairs to the chow hall. I tend to bring my own cereal (from commissary), because I don't like the breakfast options. But, breakfast is not really an option to me, because it's the only time we are given access to milk or anything really dairy. I need the calcium and always look forward to that clear bag of milk.
These routines can weigh heavy on me, though. Some days, I just want to sleep, but I wake up nonetheless. I go about all my daily expectations, doing the same thing day in and day out. Some days, I don't really know the day of the week, but luckily my watch will remind me. Last Friday, South went through the entire day thinking it was Thursday. These things happen here. I always have my call-out for my injections on Mondays and Fridays, so it's a little easier for me to keep track of the days that way. It's kind of like in a casino - where they provide no clocks and tinted windows and it encourages people to gamble much longer, because the time of day is hidden. Here, there are no calendars, so our number of days here or left is hidden.
Although all this is true, my battle is just with getting through each day in a positive mood. The best parts of my waking hours are still at work, helping students learn, and learning so much myself. I think I'm going to re-take the Graduate Record Exam (GRE) when I am released. I hope to score higher (although it's a different test), now that I've been helping people with algebra and geometry on a daily basis. A higher score will give me more latitude in my attempts to get back in school.
I think my positivity is also affected by the fact of so many unknowns as to why I'm not at the camp across the street yet and, also, if I will be given halfway house. Technically, I am currently within the months I was "given" for halfway house (120-150 days). However, my halfway house papers have not yet been sent off. There are a million excuses on why not, but I don't want to be one of the statistics of people who have to stay here until their actual "out" date, because of paperwork. I think once the days come that are possible to be home, and you are still here, it weighs heavy on you. I just keep wondering, "when will I be leaving?" I ask this to blank faces. My case worker "promises" that I am leaving soon, before my home confinement date. I hold onto that for hope!
Okay, I have to run to work. I'm going to do my best to stay positive today. I was paid my $23 payroll for the month of January. Whoo hoo. I paid out my $40/month FRP. Whoo hoo. I had breakfast with Freckles. Whoo hoo. I am alive, walking, talking, thinking, and feeling. Whoo hoo. I watched someone I like walk out of prison today. Whoo hoo. Someday, that will be me.
Honestly, my favorite part of the day, is the minutes between 9:30pm count and 10pm, when I am getting all snugly in my bed and know that I will fall asleep soon. One issue is that my fatigue is extremely heightened right now, but, also, it will be another day gone by and a day closer to getting home. I used to suffer from extreme insomnia. Not since I got sick. Now, I could sleep all day long if I am allowed to. It's been that way for the past 1 1/2 years, and sometimes it is a real struggle to stay awake in the afternoons, but I do. So, when it's officially time to lie down for the night, and get a good 6-8 hours of sleep, my body is more than happy to comply.
I no longer wake up surprised by my surroundings. That will probably happen next when I am in the comfort of my own bed. Instead, I expect the cinder block squares staring me in the face. I expect the light snores of my roommates. I expect the hard, cold, concrete floors when I walk, slowly, to the bathroom. Slowly because I hurt when I wake and I need time to wake up my joints and muscles. I'm not the only one who walks quite stiffly in the morning. In fact, just this morning I was thinking about how we must all look like zombies, slowly, and stiffly, walking ourselves to the restroom in the morning. We do not say anything, but maybe "grunt" a 'hello' as we pass one another, for fear of waking up folks. Zombies, yep, that's what we are.
By the time I head to breakfast with Freckles, I'm usually much more limber. Just the walk between the housing unit and the hospital in this freezing weather will wake anyone up. I head to the email room and wait for Freckles to meet me. Then, we head downstairs to the chow hall. I tend to bring my own cereal (from commissary), because I don't like the breakfast options. But, breakfast is not really an option to me, because it's the only time we are given access to milk or anything really dairy. I need the calcium and always look forward to that clear bag of milk.
These routines can weigh heavy on me, though. Some days, I just want to sleep, but I wake up nonetheless. I go about all my daily expectations, doing the same thing day in and day out. Some days, I don't really know the day of the week, but luckily my watch will remind me. Last Friday, South went through the entire day thinking it was Thursday. These things happen here. I always have my call-out for my injections on Mondays and Fridays, so it's a little easier for me to keep track of the days that way. It's kind of like in a casino - where they provide no clocks and tinted windows and it encourages people to gamble much longer, because the time of day is hidden. Here, there are no calendars, so our number of days here or left is hidden.
Although all this is true, my battle is just with getting through each day in a positive mood. The best parts of my waking hours are still at work, helping students learn, and learning so much myself. I think I'm going to re-take the Graduate Record Exam (GRE) when I am released. I hope to score higher (although it's a different test), now that I've been helping people with algebra and geometry on a daily basis. A higher score will give me more latitude in my attempts to get back in school.
I think my positivity is also affected by the fact of so many unknowns as to why I'm not at the camp across the street yet and, also, if I will be given halfway house. Technically, I am currently within the months I was "given" for halfway house (120-150 days). However, my halfway house papers have not yet been sent off. There are a million excuses on why not, but I don't want to be one of the statistics of people who have to stay here until their actual "out" date, because of paperwork. I think once the days come that are possible to be home, and you are still here, it weighs heavy on you. I just keep wondering, "when will I be leaving?" I ask this to blank faces. My case worker "promises" that I am leaving soon, before my home confinement date. I hold onto that for hope!
Okay, I have to run to work. I'm going to do my best to stay positive today. I was paid my $23 payroll for the month of January. Whoo hoo. I paid out my $40/month FRP. Whoo hoo. I had breakfast with Freckles. Whoo hoo. I am alive, walking, talking, thinking, and feeling. Whoo hoo. I watched someone I like walk out of prison today. Whoo hoo. Someday, that will be me.
Tuesday, February 4, 2014
From Dragonfly: Crazy or In Prison?
Lately, I've been noticing the behavior of many inmates, including myself, and realizing, if we were doing what we are, anywhere but here, we would be deemed crazy. I don't do all the following, but I certainly see people who do:
- wash our dishes in the bathroom sink
- wear the same outfit for 5 days in a row
- only own two pair of pants and shirts in the same exact color and style
- never walk barefoot
- dry hair using the air put off by a giant ice machine (okay, maybe that's crazy here, too)
- only dress in the shower stall
- wait until someone tells us we can use the bathroom
- strip naked after every visit
- climb a ladder to get into our bed
- use a maxi pad to dry our hands
- eat at the same restaurant every day
- keep our clothing, food, and hygiene in the same space
- put clean clothing with our dirty clothes, so we can fit all our groceries in our locker
- stock up on as many boxes of gobstoppers as possible
- use ramen noodles as a basis for any kind of pasta
- smell our milk every time before we drink it
- hide food in our bra from the chow hall
- hide food in other parts of our bodies
- fight people in order to use the washing machine
- iron for over an hour at a time
- spend all our income on groceries
- pay our bills with food items (I'll give you this ham to pay off that $5 bill...)
- pay twice the cost of a new t-shirt for a used t-shirt in a slightly darker shade of grey
- pay over $100 for a pair of used shoes that are different from everyone else
- paint our eye glasses
- monogram our hats, scarves, and bags
- write our name in our socks and underwear (or the days of the week on the butt)
- eat at the same times every single day
- hide brooms and mops in our room so no one else can use them
- wait more than five hours to see a physicians assistant
- always want to go home
- push anyone aside to get the table you want
- wake up in the night to stand by our bed to be counted
- feed a raccoon (okay, it's officially being called the "cat-coon")
- let those who wash and iron our clothing make more per month than the ones working "traditional jobs"
- eat a pint of ice cream for breakfast
- go shopping using our laundry bag
- sit on the floor waiting to be "rung out" when shopping
- walk around/over someone having a seizure
- never carry any money
- being constantly locked inside or outside of our "home"
- mail call is the best part of the day
- believing the feds are watching our every move (oh, yeah, they are!)
- believing the feds are listening to our phone calls and reading our mail (oh, yeah, they are!)
- waiting in 2-hour+ lines three times/day to get our medications
- waiting in an hour long line to get a lunch box with 6 chicken wings
- hoarding food
- preferring being at work, than at "home"
- crying on a regular basis
- getting excited every night, when the call-out sheet is available, to see if we have an appointment
- packing up all our belongings is a good thing
- carrying our toilet paper roll everywhere we go
- waiting in line in a bathroom for a haircut
- never giving a "tip" in the salon
- using "mozzarella" as a valuable trading item
- use rolled up paper to keep earring holes open
- always wanting to go to "camp" as an adult
- moving every couple weeks/months
- constantly changing our roommates
- sneaking in a bathroom stall for sex (ew)
- getting in a fist fight over a plastic chair
- taking a program to better oneself, just to get increased time off or a living arrangement with your girlfriend
- sitting at the same table as murderers and child molesters
- walking up and talking to the president (okay, it's a warden here)
- treating iceberg lettuce as and entire salad
- cleaning the floors 3+ times/day
- borrowing someone else's walker to use for bringing your groceries home or wait for your pills
- allowing pigeons to land on your arm and feed them (okay, that's kind of crazy here too)
- using mayonnaise in your hair (ew)
- sleeping near someone who hasn't showered in weeks
Okay, there are a lot of crazy things that would be crazier in the outside world, but appear perfectly normal in prison. I certainly never thought about the million ways I would use a maxi pad, that having an appointment would be a highlight to my day, that I would ever want to go home as bad as I do, or that I would have such a specific schedule (including always waking before 6am). But, there is a life of order here in prison. We learn from each other and we do things we never thought we would. Let's hope it's only temporary.
-
- wash our dishes in the bathroom sink
- wear the same outfit for 5 days in a row
- only own two pair of pants and shirts in the same exact color and style
- never walk barefoot
- dry hair using the air put off by a giant ice machine (okay, maybe that's crazy here, too)
- only dress in the shower stall
- wait until someone tells us we can use the bathroom
- strip naked after every visit
- climb a ladder to get into our bed
- use a maxi pad to dry our hands
- eat at the same restaurant every day
- keep our clothing, food, and hygiene in the same space
- put clean clothing with our dirty clothes, so we can fit all our groceries in our locker
- stock up on as many boxes of gobstoppers as possible
- use ramen noodles as a basis for any kind of pasta
- smell our milk every time before we drink it
- hide food in our bra from the chow hall
- hide food in other parts of our bodies
- fight people in order to use the washing machine
- iron for over an hour at a time
- spend all our income on groceries
- pay our bills with food items (I'll give you this ham to pay off that $5 bill...)
- pay twice the cost of a new t-shirt for a used t-shirt in a slightly darker shade of grey
- pay over $100 for a pair of used shoes that are different from everyone else
- paint our eye glasses
- monogram our hats, scarves, and bags
- write our name in our socks and underwear (or the days of the week on the butt)
- eat at the same times every single day
- hide brooms and mops in our room so no one else can use them
- wait more than five hours to see a physicians assistant
- always want to go home
- push anyone aside to get the table you want
- wake up in the night to stand by our bed to be counted
- feed a raccoon (okay, it's officially being called the "cat-coon")
- let those who wash and iron our clothing make more per month than the ones working "traditional jobs"
- eat a pint of ice cream for breakfast
- go shopping using our laundry bag
- sit on the floor waiting to be "rung out" when shopping
- walk around/over someone having a seizure
- never carry any money
- being constantly locked inside or outside of our "home"
- mail call is the best part of the day
- believing the feds are watching our every move (oh, yeah, they are!)
- believing the feds are listening to our phone calls and reading our mail (oh, yeah, they are!)
- waiting in 2-hour+ lines three times/day to get our medications
- waiting in an hour long line to get a lunch box with 6 chicken wings
- hoarding food
- preferring being at work, than at "home"
- crying on a regular basis
- getting excited every night, when the call-out sheet is available, to see if we have an appointment
- packing up all our belongings is a good thing
- carrying our toilet paper roll everywhere we go
- waiting in line in a bathroom for a haircut
- never giving a "tip" in the salon
- using "mozzarella" as a valuable trading item
- use rolled up paper to keep earring holes open
- always wanting to go to "camp" as an adult
- moving every couple weeks/months
- constantly changing our roommates
- sneaking in a bathroom stall for sex (ew)
- getting in a fist fight over a plastic chair
- taking a program to better oneself, just to get increased time off or a living arrangement with your girlfriend
- sitting at the same table as murderers and child molesters
- walking up and talking to the president (okay, it's a warden here)
- treating iceberg lettuce as and entire salad
- cleaning the floors 3+ times/day
- borrowing someone else's walker to use for bringing your groceries home or wait for your pills
- allowing pigeons to land on your arm and feed them (okay, that's kind of crazy here too)
- using mayonnaise in your hair (ew)
- sleeping near someone who hasn't showered in weeks
Okay, there are a lot of crazy things that would be crazier in the outside world, but appear perfectly normal in prison. I certainly never thought about the million ways I would use a maxi pad, that having an appointment would be a highlight to my day, that I would ever want to go home as bad as I do, or that I would have such a specific schedule (including always waking before 6am). But, there is a life of order here in prison. We learn from each other and we do things we never thought we would. Let's hope it's only temporary.
-
Sunday, February 2, 2014
From Dragonfly: Television
Last night is the first night in more than 4 months that I sat and watched a TV show. It was the Lifetime movie about Gabby Douglas. I really liked the message of hope and determination in the movie. I'd say that I liked the end of the film, but as tears were coming to my eyes toward the end, the televisions were abruptly turned off and everyone was told, "get ready for 9:30 count." Everyone said, "ugh," at the same time, wanting to just finish up the last seconds of a movie we'd been watching for nearly 2 hours. But, here, we do not do our time on our terms, the C.O. is in charge of the televisions and if she turns them off, we must pile up our chairs, grab all our belongings, and start shuffling ourselves back to our rooms.
It's weird how little television I've watched here. Back home, I could be seen, nearly every evening, sprawled out on my couch, laptop on my lap, watching one of my shows: Doctor Who, Scandal, Downton Abbey, Big Bang Theory, The Good Wife, Shark Tank, Idol, etc. But here, there is no couch to sprawl out on, no laptop to be surfing the web on, and even if I start watching one of these shows, it would likely be turned off before the end, or people will start talking so loud that I would not be able to hear it (even with the earphones we have to wear). I tried several weeks to do Big Bang Theory, but people were just too rude to let us actually watch the show. I guess when I am home, I'll have plenty of shows to catch up on.
I, actually, never bought one of the radio options that allow us to hear the televisions. I was given one to borrow, but it is broken, and, so, whenever I watch the televisions, I borrow one from a friend. Lola has the mp3 player and one of the radios, so I borrowed from her last night. In our old unit, there were two television rooms that actually had sound, but in our new unit, every television requires a radio/mp3 and headphones. There's nothing weirder than looking into a television room with no sound and everyone is just staring at a television with headphones on. Then, simultaneously, everyone will laugh. It's like they are all in on some joke that you didn't hear. Today, for Superbowl Sunday, it'll be yelling at the television, once again, with everyone wearing their headgear.
Interestingly, Superbowl Sunday is a federal holiday in prison. Not literally, but they are treating it like one. In order to give staff time off, they are closing the kitchen early and giving us boxed dinners (I hear they are treating us to a couple hot wings). We will all be in our units all night, with most the televisions playing the game. I can't say I care much about the game this year, none of the teams I really care to see are playing.
I'll probably spend the extended time inside working on the locker organizer I'm making for Lola. It's truly an original, as I am teaching myself many new stitches. I even signed the bottom of one of the pockets. She'll have it for a while here, yet, so she'll remember who made her the organizer. Not that she could ever forget me. Ha!
South has one week left here, and she's officially counting down her days. She'll say things like, "tomorrow is my last Monday here," or "when I get home..." It's so real for her. Tomorrow, we have someone else going home. She's been locked up 10 years and is finally being released. There's a beautiful poster hanging outside her room with a suitcase on it that says, "we all come with baggage, thanks for helping us unpack ours." I thought that was cool. Various people are signing the poster and wishing her luck. I don't know her all that well, but I know she'll be missed and many people are excited for her. Ten years. Wow.
It's cold, here, today, and it's going to be icy again tonight. This may cause more extended television days. We shall see. Last time we had an ice storm, we were held in our units for three days. I pray that isn't the case again. It makes for very long days, and I'll have to borrow another radio to watch some television... something I hope to continue to barely do throughout my remaining time here in Carswell.
It's weird how little television I've watched here. Back home, I could be seen, nearly every evening, sprawled out on my couch, laptop on my lap, watching one of my shows: Doctor Who, Scandal, Downton Abbey, Big Bang Theory, The Good Wife, Shark Tank, Idol, etc. But here, there is no couch to sprawl out on, no laptop to be surfing the web on, and even if I start watching one of these shows, it would likely be turned off before the end, or people will start talking so loud that I would not be able to hear it (even with the earphones we have to wear). I tried several weeks to do Big Bang Theory, but people were just too rude to let us actually watch the show. I guess when I am home, I'll have plenty of shows to catch up on.
I, actually, never bought one of the radio options that allow us to hear the televisions. I was given one to borrow, but it is broken, and, so, whenever I watch the televisions, I borrow one from a friend. Lola has the mp3 player and one of the radios, so I borrowed from her last night. In our old unit, there were two television rooms that actually had sound, but in our new unit, every television requires a radio/mp3 and headphones. There's nothing weirder than looking into a television room with no sound and everyone is just staring at a television with headphones on. Then, simultaneously, everyone will laugh. It's like they are all in on some joke that you didn't hear. Today, for Superbowl Sunday, it'll be yelling at the television, once again, with everyone wearing their headgear.
Interestingly, Superbowl Sunday is a federal holiday in prison. Not literally, but they are treating it like one. In order to give staff time off, they are closing the kitchen early and giving us boxed dinners (I hear they are treating us to a couple hot wings). We will all be in our units all night, with most the televisions playing the game. I can't say I care much about the game this year, none of the teams I really care to see are playing.
I'll probably spend the extended time inside working on the locker organizer I'm making for Lola. It's truly an original, as I am teaching myself many new stitches. I even signed the bottom of one of the pockets. She'll have it for a while here, yet, so she'll remember who made her the organizer. Not that she could ever forget me. Ha!
South has one week left here, and she's officially counting down her days. She'll say things like, "tomorrow is my last Monday here," or "when I get home..." It's so real for her. Tomorrow, we have someone else going home. She's been locked up 10 years and is finally being released. There's a beautiful poster hanging outside her room with a suitcase on it that says, "we all come with baggage, thanks for helping us unpack ours." I thought that was cool. Various people are signing the poster and wishing her luck. I don't know her all that well, but I know she'll be missed and many people are excited for her. Ten years. Wow.
It's cold, here, today, and it's going to be icy again tonight. This may cause more extended television days. We shall see. Last time we had an ice storm, we were held in our units for three days. I pray that isn't the case again. It makes for very long days, and I'll have to borrow another radio to watch some television... something I hope to continue to barely do throughout my remaining time here in Carswell.