The Broken Anklet

I've worn it for about 14 months or so on my left ankle. It was yellow and blue and made of a string that was lighter on one end and darker on the other. I remember sitting in my bunk and choosing the strings and deciding which pattern I would follow to make the end product. It likely took me about an hour or a bit longer all said and done. I finished it off with a special slip knot so if I had to it could quickly be taken off my ankle. These are not allowed at Carswell, although I made them frequently for others and so did many other people. Bracelets often were confiscated, anklets were safer, because when in uniform and outside our units, they were under our socks. Once I put mine on, I never took it off. Not once. It may have been made of string, but it was something I made and it was a symbol of my individuality. When I walked around my unit in shorts and fake crocs the officers could see it, but others had them too, they were of little concern as long as we were staying out of trouble.

Once I was home, I looked at my anklet all the time. It was starting to fray. Things like this do not usually last beyond a summer at camp (the place I learned to make them). It was stretching out. I kept trying to make it tighter. I made the decision that I would not take it off until Lola was home. When I made the anklet for me, I also made anklets for Freckles and Lola. Freckles is home. Lola still needs to come home. I don't know if she still has hers.

I write of this because it broke off tonight and I'm very upset. I know that Lola has at least a half year yet before she could possibly be going to her HWH. I know the anklet was just a symbol, but I looked at it every day and said a prayer for Lola. I will still do so, but I wanted that connection. I may try to tie it back on tomorrow if I can. It's no longer pretty, but I do not care about that.

I left Carswell 9 months ago. Wow that's as long as I was there. I have not seen Lola in almost a year based on when they moved her. It may have been a long time ago, but I don't want her to ever think that just because I am out and she's still there, I am not thinking of her or that I do not value the friendship she gave me. I may not be able to be a great friend to her due to BOP guidelines, but I will find ways symbolically to stay connected.