My LGBTQ Rights

This blog post is not going to be anything I've written before. I usually write here about my life inside and outside of prison, being a felon, or something like that. However, an incident from yesterday has been bothering me and I want to get it out of my head, so best place to do so for me is in writing and best place for me to write is on my blog. Forgive me the liberties I take in writing about a totally different subject in this post.

As you all know, I love my job. I love who I work with and what I do. I feel respected and needed. My boss knows my history and held my job for me. It's incredible. She is incredible. I am so very grateful.

There is one area though that I've always felt a little awkward, and that is around the fact that I am out and proud around my identity within the LGBTQ community. I came out at 18 years of age and we can just say I flew out of the closet. I immediately was named a leader on my college campus at the time. I also became political in the community. It was 1991 and we needed role models, equal rights, positive media, changes in policies and laws, etc. It is one of the reasons I went to law school.

Since 18 years of age, I have never hidden who I am. There is a saying, "silence equals death." I have a great uncle who was gay or bisexual and hid his identity from our family. His silence resulted in his hiding who he was with and when and he died from AIDS in the 80's. I take that saying literally. Had he not felt like he had to hide who he was, maybe he would have found a long-term relationship and lived a happy healthy life. One never knows.

Anyway, my work within the LGBTQ community is all over my resume and CV, I never hide it. I do a lot of volunteering and other work within the community. I was hired with the knowledge of that background.

So, yesterday, I was made a bit uncomfortable when asked about how I handle situations around my "personal life" with the youth of my organization. I was told that the staff don't talk about their "husbands" so there would be no reason for me to bring up my "wife." I was told that our youth may have conservative parents who may misconstrue something I would say to the youth and it would be interpreted as if I were saying that "homosexuality" was okay when it is not according to their parents.... Things like that.

So, I informed the person talking to me that I felt perfectly comfortable in my rights with how I would talk with any youth around the subject. First, one youth who is out approached me about how to figure out what colleges had safe spaces and which did not. I was glad that the student knew there was someone on staff that they could approach to talk about that! 

My role is to listen to the youth. Not guide them. I have worked with youth practically my entire adult life. I am a safe person to come to and to help guide them to further resources. I am not concerned about how parents would interpret my words because I never meet 1on1 with a student in total privacy and my job is to listen and help, not tell a young person how to think or feel.

Students do know that I got married this summer to my wife, however, and so far they have only said "that's cool." I may be the first out adult they know or maybe not. These kids respect me in my role and maybe it helps them break down some stereotypes. 

I'm not going to change being who I am or worry three years into my job. I said that I am no different on staff than the other diversity we offer among our staff members. They didn't see it that way. Homophobia even in the best of places. Trying to see past it.

Glad I was able to write all of this. Thanks for reading!