The Whole30

I've decided to finally do the elimination diet I was planning on doing prior to the passing of my grandma. Then, I got through one day and my grandma passed away and then I was at a funeral and sitting shiva. My thoughts of eliminating foods to see the culprits of some of my aches and pains just didn't make sense at that time.

I'm now on my fifth day of the whole30 elimination plan. No sugar, no legumes, no dairy, no grains for 30 days. Eggs, however are okay and encouraged. Technically, there is a more severe elimination protocol for people with autoimmune conditions like myself, but I decided to do the general one first. Once I get through 30 days like this, I can choose to do this again or continue it if I decide to with the more restrictive diet.

I'm not struggling as much as I thought I would. I'm a happy little carnivore. I have always loved cheese, but haven't really missed my dairy products yet. Actually, even just a few days in, I notice that I'm enjoying the taste of my foods far more than usual. A sweet potato tastes sweeter, drinking a basic herbal tea with no additives (sugar or honey) is suddenly okay, and even the homemade mayo tastes pretty darn good! 

Joy and Sporty are also doing the Whole30 alongside me. They are going well so far too. It's always so good to embark on something like this having the support of others doing something similar. Today I'm going to search out recipes and make a shopping list and we will plan our meals for the week. Sporty and I got rid of all our forbidden foods to shelves that T.S. can eat from and enjoy her Oreos or Cheerios, while our shelves are packed with nuts, fruits, olive oils, spices, and foods we are allowed. Being a whole food diet, our fridge has fresh fruit, veggies and plenty of meats for the protein portions - and of course eggs! 

Last night's meal consisted of ribeye steak, stir fried onions, and homemade sweet potato chips. With meals like that (and half the ribeye ready to be eaten today), I think this is an elimination diet I can get through!!

I Must Be Doing Alright

I reported a couple months ago that after my mandatory counseling intake, the counselor felt I was not in need of the organization's services. In the end, my PO felt I should have three sessions to ensure that was the case. My third session was today and I was asked to sign my release today from their services. Counseling complete.

It was interesting to hear what the counselor felt were the reasons I was not in need of the services. Bluntly put, "I have my sh*t together..." Most people she sees upon release struggle in employment, relationships, financials, active addictions, housing, and more. I guess this is once again the advantage of my having had 4 1/2 years to get myself into recovery and counseling before I was indicted. I had my sh*t together before I went away - at least for the most part.

Let's not be too proud, though. I have very low moments still. I just handle them very differently than I did when I thought and acted like an addict thinks and acts. Recovery allowed me to live "through" the prison experience and continue to live "through" the ups and downs of life.

I also have incredible support- an essential in anyone's life. Counseling was there for me early on when I did not know if I had any other support and when I needed far more than those who support me could give. Counseling in any form, especially my addiction counseling, gave me an opportunity to really feel heard and explore issues I had to explore with people trained to help me through the pain and fear of dealing with those issues. Sometimes, counseling is the absolute best answer!

For now, I'm glad to be released from the court ordered mandatory counseling. The selected counselor was nice enough but it felt at times as if I were teaching her about compulsive gambling, more than gaining from the session. That is certainly not wasted time. Maybe a client of hers will walk in one of my GA rooms in the future.

So, I guess I'm doing a good job of keeping it positive after just 6 months of my official release. It's starting to feel like so much longer!! I am going to where I feel heard every week tonight - at my GA meeting - where I always know I'm not alone. If ever my GA meetings or friends are not enough for me, though, I know I can always seek counseling because life is about doing the right next thing as we need to.

Inner City Schools

I'm conducting student interviews at schools this week for new students to join our college preparation program that I work with. The buildings have history and I wonder if anyone appreciates the little architectural details - crown molding, window designs, etc. they are grand high schools that house hundreds of tomorrow's thinkers and workers.

These are inner-city high schools, though. Taxes do not pay enough per student to offer modern advancements or technology. They exist with the possibility of crime all the time. Police officers walk the halls and students refuse to use the lockers (too often they are broken into and everything is stolen).

While sitting this morning at one school, there was a pause in our interviews while a student was arrested. This is ordinary around here. Later in the day, I heard a familiar thing over the loud speaker, "we are going on lockdown." It was just a drill, but it took me right back to the many lockdowns at Carswell. The endless hours in our rooms waiting to be allowed to roam our units once again.

Here, the lockdown means locking your door, moving everyone away from doors and windows, and turning off lights. It's likely a drill due to all the school shootings that happen at every kind of school these days - Sandy Hook to Columbine. All schools have those issues today, not just inner-city schools.

It's scary to think that today's high schools could feel like prisons, ever! They are institutions of higher education. Students should feel safe, secure, and not need the police walking their halls to get themselves into college.

I pass little judgment on students of inner-city schools. I attended one myself for a period of time. Somehow, it just felt safer at that time. Now, 10 year olds have to walk through metal detectors. It all just makes me sad.

As I wait for my next student to interview, I will stare out of the large window before me, take in the beautiful crown molding, and appreciate the beauty of this old building.