Are We Victims?

The individual who de-friended me earlier this week got a phrase stuck in my head. Not a phrase I am personally "owning," but one that has kept me thinking. In her rage of a text she was talking about the people my white collar crime hurt years ago. The ones I've cried about so many times, and she wrote, "and you're the victim?" I never said I was a victim. I was an addict. Addiction is an explanation, but not an excuse. I thought perhaps criminal charges would be filed immediately, like in most cases, but it took nearly five years for no reason. The prosecutors office wasn't waiting for any evidence. It just sat. They gave me time to get well, to make amends, to change myself. People who commit crimes should be punished, but the punishment should fit the crime and be timely. There are some crimes so outrageous that there are no statutes of limitations or extremely long ones, but there is a reason that for other types of crimes, at some point, we as a society let it go. If the offender has not gotten in trouble again with the law, perhaps it is time to move on. Important to remember that the purpose of criminal law is to punish the wrongdoer, not make the victims whole.

However, the truth is that our legal system is not always fair and just. Although, I will face my sentence with dignity and feel in the end it is fair, although much time has passed.  Racism, classism, and other forms of discrimination affect the sentencing of criminals sometimes. Also, if, like in my case, even the probation office feels that prison is not the right place for someone, it doesn't seem right that the judge ignores entirely the place the defendant is in, their growth, medical condition, fact that they can better pay restitution if out of prison, etc. Also, we all read at times about judges just going overboard and giving maximum sentences (which I did not get by any means) to people who literally made unfortunate mistakes, who will now be away from their families for years. Truth is, to me, sometimes, some people in prisons are also victims.

Plus, and I'm sure few will talk about it, if I were to go around the women's prison I go to and ask honestly about how many of those women were raped, molested, beaten, or battered, I imagine we will see way too many hands raised. So many women become victims too early in their lives, they lose their innocence and depending how often it happened how well it was handled inside and/or outside the family, they either became victims or survivors in their heads, their hearts, and their ability to deal with life on life's terms.

So, who is the victim? Sometimes, I'm just not sure.