One Day at a Time

I'm sure that most people reading this are not in a twelve step program - especially given that this blog has had about 3,500 hits already since its conception just six weeks ago. I hope people find it helpful, interesting, informative, and even quirky at times. Anyway, this blog is going to talk about not just the saying, "one day at a time," but how I intend to use that concept to make it through each day in prison.

AA was the first 12-step program and I think almost every 12-step program after bases some of their principles on the lessons learned through AA and recovery. One of those concepts is one day at a time (ODAAT).

When someone walks into a recovery room for the first time their life is usually in pieces and everything needs fixing - family, employment, financials, house mortgage, friendships, legal issues hang over your head sometimes, etc. Every person's situation is unique, but almost everyone has some problems needing to be "fixed."

Once we stop our addictive behavior, we want everything to be fixed immediately. But we didn't cause all the problems in a day and we can't fix all the problems in a day either. Therefore, the way we talk about this in the G.A. program is to "be patient - don't try to solve all you're problems at once." Similarly, we can only live ODAAT and solve the problems of a day a a time. If we try to take on everything, we get overwhelmed with impossible expectations on ourselves and others.

Similarly ODAAT provides a way of getting through life in general. If things are bad in prison and we count the number of days in front of us, we will worry every day about a future that has not occurred yet. If we miss our family and only spend our time in regret or wallowing, we will only live with what we fail to have in the moment except to look around us and see, perhaps, opportunities that may help bring us closer to our family when we do see them again. When we live ODAAT, we are able to experience life not necessarily by our expectations, but by the ability to open our eyes wider to the moment and use all our senses and be open to change in ourselves and our life.

I used to live exclusively in the past and the future, almost never in the moment. Even the consequences of the moment couldn't affect me due to my addiction. I couldn't get past things that happened to me when I was young and I couldn't stop dreaming of the life "I wished" I could have. When I started to live my life ODAAT, my past and future were no longer my focal points and I was able to actually work on myself for the first time in my life.

So, living life one day at a time does not mean you do nothing for the future. We must do today what we can to ensure our future. I must go to work today, but today I am not worrying about tomorrow being my last day at my job. That's my day tomorrow. I must take my classes to get my phd. I can't worry about what institutions will hire me with a felony, that is about 3-4 years down the road. I must finish this blog post. I can't worry how many blog posts Survivor will do for me while I am in prison, it is out of my control and in the future.

I live my life one day at a time. If the commissary doesn't have shorts, I will survive. If I am not able to stomach a meal, I will survive. If my roommates snore, I will survive. If I don't get a lot of mail after a while, I will survive. If I run out of money, I will survive. If I have no visitors for a while, I will survive. If someone punches me, I will survive. If I am put in the SHU for my own protection, I will survive. If I'm not released on time, I will survive. I will survive each of these things because they will not all happen on the same day and I live ONE DAY AT A TIME!