From Dragonfly: Reaction to Transfer

For the last several days, I have been informing friends and those that "should" know (such as coworkers) about my pending transfer across the street. The reaction has certainly been mixed. Those on the outside, all seem quite happy with the news. I will no longer be behind a fence (although since the camp is located on a military base, I am still behind the fences of the base - but I won't see those). I will no longer have controlled moves (I am able to move about when I want - except for set times for count). I will live among 300 people total (there are over 250 women just in my unit here). I will wear green (now I wear khaki). I will be allowed to roam outside more of the day - especially later at night (here, we have recall at 8:30pm and must stay in our units after that time). I will be able to see a large lake (I love being near water). I will have 5 roommates (here, I have 3 - now that I'm out of the bus stop). I will share a bathroom, including a bathtub, with only 5 other people (here, I share about 14 toilet stalls and about 16 shower stalls with 256 other women). I "may" have carpet or tile in my room (here, it's grey concrete everywhere). There are drawbacks - the phones are outside, under a roof - so it's cold. Lines for everything (pill line, commissary, dining hall, etc.) occur outdoors, rather than indoors. I will have to walk outdoors just to do my laundry. But, this is Texas, and the weather is mild compared to what I am used to in the Midwest. Oh, and people say it's really BORING. I think I'd prefer "boring" to crazy.

Okay, on the inside - here - my friends seem happy for me, but sad I will not be here with them. I mostly worry about South. Danbury and myself are her two closest friends and Danbury leaves tomorrow. I will leave within a couple weeks. South doesn't go home until the end of January. I'm glad there are people here who I know will keep her company. Freckles says that she wants to spend a little time with me each day until I leave - cause she knows that one day, I just won't show up. That's how things are here - we find things out last minute and then we are gone. Star goes back and forth between being happy and sad that I'm leaving. But, Star is going to be moved into the hospital soon - cause her baby is due in January. She also goes home in February. Nurse is still fighting her "shot" and is very distracted (for good reason). She needs to fight the shot, because if it stands, she will lose her "camp eligibility" and be stuck here or in another FCI for the rest of her sentence (even though she came in as minimum security).

Bandana lived at the camp across the street for 4 months and shared a lot with me. She indicated the freedom has a price - there's a lot of drugs and contraband moving in and out of the camp. Some people work on the base, and that interaction with "outside" people has a cost. Along with everyone else, she says it is boring. To fight the boredom, I am going to talk with the head teacher of the camp (who often comes inside our education department) and request a transfer to her department. As long as I have a job, I won't be bored.

There are different caliber women's "camps" in the prison system. There are high quality camps - Alderson, Victorville, and Dublin. There are okay camps - Lexington, for former Danbury (it's closing down), Greenville, Tallahassee and Bryan (perhaps others). Then there are camps such as Carswell. It's not a fully outfitted camp - and has few activities available. It is really just a satellite camp from the medical facility and not a stand-alone camp. Even staff say it's a low level camp in the structure of prison camps. But, for me, it's greater freedom and getting away from the most violent offenders. Perhaps, I will be able to find a little more hope and serenity there. Maybe someone will let me start a GA meeting. It has potential for me - and until that potential is diminished, I'll stay hopeful.

I'm nervous, too. It means starting over with new roommates (always a challenge). It means learning new rules, going through a new orientation period, and being without any of my support system I've built in here. Thank god my support system from outside will be there right along with me! And, since it is a part of the rest of Carswell, my address won't even change!

I don't know if I'm going this week, in three weeks, or over a month from now. All I know is that I am going. Flexibility and patience are two things we must have to survive prison. I'm growing these attributes on a daily basis.