Food

I'm still waking on Carswell time. I asked the woman in the bubble if I could sit somewhere and write at 5am, not allowed, so I wrote in my not so comfy bed using my book light. I spend about half my day in this bed.

At 6am, I was allowed out of my room, so I drank an OJ (out of vending machine) and walked the halls for 30 minutes. I was missing Freckles - we walked together most mornings.

Breakfast was at 8:15am, but by then, my stomach was feeling pretty funky. By lunchtime - very funky. It must be the OJ - I hadn't had real OJ in nearly a year. It's like introducing things into one's diet during an elimination diet. I hear many foods may cause me a reaction. Unfortunately, there was no way for me to get any Pepsid, Imodium, or the like, so I have had to just face bouts of "ugh" through the day. So be it.

There's no programming here on Sundays. Some residents get furloughs with their families, many go to AA/NA meetings, others work - some of us continue to be locked in this building with nowhere to go. The one other non-smoker and I bonded over no fresh air.

So, we watched a movie with Kevin Costner called "Dragonfly" and I thought, "how aperpo." It was alright. Now, they are watching Step Up 2. A room filled with young women, slightly older than T.S. I would be watching something different, perhaps one of the movies they have that are considered structured time - "Walk the Line" or "Silver Lining..." about characters dealing with addiction...

9:15pm We are watching "The Hunger Games." We have 1 & 2, but due to smoke breaks, dinner saves, pill line, etc we will only get through #1 tonight. I'll watch #2 at home. I am still in hope of going home tomorrow. I am thinking it must be true, because I am on the last page of this journal - a journal Freckles got me during the merry-go-round. So, I guess I need to go home to get a new notebook :-)

Since I get a night time medication, I automatically get a snack - bologna sandwich with mustard and a small cranberry juice every night. I give away the sandwich and drink the juice.

I love the line just spoken in Hunger Games, "Hope is the only thing stronger than fear..."