Amazing Opportunities

As we all know at this point, my school did not have to sweeten their offer of acceptance to me much to get me to choose to attend the school. Usually, doctoral programs have a certain amount of funds that they use to help recruit people to their doctoral programs. They offer graduate assistantships, fellowships, scholarships, etc to help entice the student to select their program. At the doctoral level, a student should not pay for their tuition or health insurance or cost of living, it should be covered through a graduate assistantship.

In my last round of applying to doctoral programs, I was accepted to six schools. Four gave me funding outright. Some pretty much enticed me with multi-year guaranteed assistantships and right when I had finally selected my current University, another was offering me a fellowship or something. It didn't matter, I knew where I wanted to be. I wanted to be here - one of the two schools that offered me NO funding upfront. They brought in a large class and half received departmental funding and I didn't make the cut. It was up to me to find my funding. I did and then I accepted the offer to attend because I loved this school and this community. Not having guaranteed funding, though, meant that I would always be concerned about whether my assistantship would be renewed and I had to find summer funding and I wasn't doing work I loved, but it paid like any other graduate assistantship and I was good at my initial assistantship and they kept me on. My first summer I was awarded a research fellowship and the following year I went back to my same graduate assistantship. Things were fine.

A better, more interesting, assistantship opened up and I applied for in and moved into it just months before I was indicted. That's the job that then I worked at before and now after my incarceration. I love it there and they love me. My boss does not judge me for my past, she just wants me to do my job the best I can and in return my tuition, healthcare, and a living stipend is paid to me. This is how graduate students live.

So, today, I was truly humbled when I received from my department my official letter of admission which included with it an offer of funding. As long as I maintain good academic standing, I will have an academic assistantship within the department of criminal justice for the 4-5 years it takes me to complete my PhD (4 years if I plan it right). PLUS they offered me a teaching and research fellowship for each summer. I will not have to find any funding. This is an offer not given to every student. I am beyond humbled that this little felon who is still on supervision was given this opportunity and pat on the back and symbolically told "you belong here." This funding makes all the difference in the world because now I can totally focus starting Fall on my studies and criminal justice research. All my work will be within the department. I will not be forced to work outside doing other things that may force me to take more time.

I'm very sad at the same time, though. I really love my current job. I love the people, the kids we work with, and how we make a difference in their lives. I'm glad that at the very least, I have another six months before I have to leave. I'm not ready to go. I think I may keep volunteering. It's important to keep giving back anyway and this organization can use my skillset. I don't have to make these decisions today, but I did respond today and gladly accept the offer from the school of criminal justice. You don't turn down amazing opportunities! 

I am just working on believing that I deserve them.