The Secret Revisited

Tonight, Sporty, our new GA sponsee and myself gathered at our home for dinner and a showing of "The Secret." If you remember, about a year ago, I watched the video while I was incarcerated. The concepts of "The Secret" made an impression on me... it's about the 'law of attraction.' Ask the universe for what you want. Visualize receiving it. Believe you you will get it and believe you deserve to get it. Then be ready and receive it. In our conversation, I used my process of getting back into my school as an example of practicing "the law of attraction."

Since my time in prison, I was not aware that I had possibly been practicing these concepts in my life. I certainly do not in every part of my life, but my consistent persistence I suppose was a good lesson in how the secret works. Amazing that we decided to watch the video again tonight and it all came back to me. Everything comes full circle when it's supposed to.

Today while at school, I noticed that the new Director for my school of criminal justice's door was open. Having never met her, I introduced myself and welcomed her to the school. I proceeded to thank her for the admission to the doctoral program and the funding offer. She told me that they "expect great things" from me. I said that I just was concentrating on completing the Master's program right now and I again thanked her and humbly made myself out of her office.

In the video tonight, it talked about showing gratitude and humility. I was not thinking about the video or anything like that when I decided to knock on the Director's door. I did it because I take nothing for granted these days. When I was in the courtroom being sentenced, I was told by the Judge that I needed to "reconsider" my plans to become a Professor. I was told that I did not belong in academia because of my past actions. People scowled at me in the courtroom because I did not deserve a life of good - only bad.

Then I had an advisor who had my back and told me that I did deserve to stay in school. I started to believe her. That was until I was in prison and got kicked out of my program and the University. Perhaps the Judge and scowlers were right. Maybe my future did not include higher education. Maybe I could not be a Professor.

But, I just kept putting it out to the Universe. I want to be a Professor. I want to stay a student at my same University. I deserve this. My past does not define my future. In fact, my past can only enhance what I am capable of doing in my future. My experiences are unique and informing. There is no way for me to know if I will be able to do "great things" in my future, however, I will certainly be able to offer some interesting insights into the present.