Another Flare

It's been a couple weeks now that I've not been feeling too well. The worse part is the fatigue. Every afternoon I could lay my head down and sleep for hours if given the chance. So, I don't lay my head down. The timing couldn't be worst, finals are a month away, we move in less than two weeks, ... I need to feel good and have some energy!

I need to be working on my thesis. I already feel behind, although it's hard to be behind on a project with a far off finish date, but there is so much to do between now and then. A project of this magnitude needs steady movement. There should never be a "resting" period.

I went to my rheumatologist who upped my medication again, and added yet another pill. I have 10 medications... One that is an injection and I'm just not sure what good it all does. Sometimes I think about starting all over again. A more holistic doctor who will look at everything and we do it one at a time. The problem is that so many medications take pre-authorization and a crazy process with insurance and are like $4,000/month so I should just be glad I'm covered and just take them. But if I feel the way I do, are they really helping me?

My joints hurt. My muscles hurt. I wake up swollen all over. I walk to the restroom like a hunchback. I can barely walk two blocks. I had high hopes that this spring would mimic last spring, and I'd be working out to Jillian Michaels by now.

Many people have it much worse than me and I have a lot to be grateful for, but today I am in pain. I just thought I'd share that. Being in pain is okay though, I know how to work through it, because I will get up, make myself a healthy breakfast, start working, refuse to lay my head down, and put in a full productive day.  Tonight, I will pack some boxes for our move, get some homework done,  and get a good night's sleep. Today, I will just focus on today.