From Dragonfly: Demographics

I knew that coming to prison would be an experience in facing an identity crisis. Here, we are all the same - inmates/criminals. We are known by our # and sometimes our last name. First names are too personal. Who we are, our background, and our prior identity matters not.

However, I didn't quite expect the identity crisis that has followed me since the day I arrived. This is my identity around demographics. On the first day, I discovered that my height and weight were wrong in the system - it said I am 5'2" (I am shorter than that) and weigh a mere 35 lbs. Wow, that's skinny - and you know already that I am not skinny and 35 lbs would be death. Just saying. Well, all my paperwork has that as my weight and height.... so I will be shrinking and gaining much more than the first year 35 lbs when I leave and they report my new weight and height!

The other day, I was called out to psychology for my inmate intake. I walked into the psychologists office and she looked at me very funny. She said that I could not be the person I am, because I am listed as African American. So, now I am a 5'2" 35 lb African American. Okay, not one of these things are correct. Of course, records are not changed, so no idea when people will actually update my files.

Then, two days ago, when I was with the Chaplain to get approved for Rosh Hashana activities, she told me that I had no religion listed on my papers. She said that it was not even an option to have no religion listed (there is another answer for those with no religion). But, I am Jewish. I wrote Jewish on all my forms. I started to cite a Hebrew prayer to prove my Jewish identity. She accepted it.

So, I am listed in the system, now, as an African America, 5'2", 35 lb, individual with no religious identity. Ummm, maybe I am supposed to have someone else here in my place and I am supposed to be at home, or rather, on my way to a wonderful weekend of serenity with several of my G.A. female friends in recovery. We started the annual weekend trip 5 years ago and it is still going strong. I told my friends that they MUST still do it this year, even if I am not present (in fact, unfortunately, 3 of us will not be attending). It matters not, though, because the weekend is a chance for each individual to be in beautiful nature, away from home, sharing, caring, and laughing. I will think of them all a lot this weekend and I know they will also be thinking of me. I am grateful everyday for my recovery and the community of friends it has provided to me. I really am one of the people in my entire unit who receives such warm supportive letters nearly every day.

Well, although my demographics are all wrong, I did have the opportunity to be myself at my first "team" meeting scheduled for this morning (I do not get the Jewish holidays off!). Team meetings are done within 28 days of arrival and are with an inmate's assigned counselor, case worker, and unit manager. The counselor concentrates on issues within the prison, the case worker on issues outside the prison, and the unit manager is their supervisor. I was provided with information about my "out" dates and we are working on next steps - I must remove my case from the jurisdiction it was in to the jurisdiction I will live in once released. We are starting that process immediately. It will take about 2 months. Next, I will be working to get myself off medical hold. That will be trickier, but not impossible. I do have one piece of advice for anyone facing prison... if there's any way you can live without major health issues for the period of imprisonment, try to not get designated to a medical facility.

Well, I'm late for my Rosh Hashana evening services. I was just told that they are waiting for me. I will receive Challah bread, apples and honey - a little reality of being a Jew - even if the system doesn't show me as one. L'Shana Tovah to those celebrating along with me.