From Dragonfly: The Six Keys to Happiness

We did not learn the six keys last night. I suppose that's why there are six weeks, 12 hours in total, to the course. We did learn some of the underlying principles - mostly based on Tony Robins and, also, "The Secret." We watched the film to "The Secret" last night. It's principles were easy for me to accept - they are closely related to my 12 step program. I'm not sure it's such a "secret." There is something to it, all. I do believe we need to choose to think positive and positive things happen.

Imagine over 350 inmates who signed up for this class. We were filtered into the multipurpose room, with metal chairs lined up in rows. The facilitator is our outdoor rec officer, who has a lot of passion as a facilitator. I think she was actually trying to be Tony Robins. Quite a site in a prison. She starts things out making us all stand and try and get into the groove with her. Okay, I'll move my arms, no prob. Then she says that she needs to bring some people up to the front of the room... she chooses a young boi two rows in front of me, a woman with a cane, a few other random women, and me. Really?? She then says that she chose us specifically because she thinks we are "shy," and we need to get over that if we are going to go out and be able to get a job. The room is filled with several women who know me, people I tutored with, students, friends, etc. They all know I AM NOT SHY! How I put off the "shy" factor was weird. So, she makes us do this crazy leg thing to the music, making fools of ourselves, get us out of our comfort zones. I watch the woman with a cane try to move. Was it really appropriate to do something physical with someone who can barely walk? People are laughing and yelling at us. We have to dance sillier, now, I'm sure my cheeks are bright red. I keep saying to myself, "like I'm shy..." Once done, everyone is clapping for us and I head back to my chair, next to Lola. I say, "I have facilitated groups bigger than this one, been a public speaker for years, and I'm the one she selects as shy?" Okay, I really didn't want to get up there, maybe that makes me shy.

We then watched the movie and then, as we exited, we were each given a paper key with a quote. The quotes were different for everyone. I received one about "believing." See, we can ask the universe all we want for the things we want. We can even visualize having whatever that is (money, love, kids, etc.) However, we also need to believe we can have these things. I felt it so appropriate that I was given that quote, because that is my struggle - Believing I DESERVE these things. I still fight my demons of my past, sometimes, but am getting so much better. For example, I need to say that I am going to get back into my school, I have to visualize myself walking across that stage obtaining my PhD, and I have to believe that I deserve it. I can do this. I believe.