Freckles and Men at the HWH

Here's another edition of life at a federal halfway house by Freckles. I find it fascinating that her experience is so interlaced with the males, as at mine we were not ever allowed to even talk to the men and were separated in every way...

"As we are release from prison to the half way house - we have a pretty decent routine down and one part of that is always being around other females inmates, our only male contact are the guards and our visitors. Well, you can imagine my shock and surprise when I arrived at my half way house with only 4 women in two rooms tucked in the corner of the second story. There is a 10-1 ratio of men to women. Their "idea" of keeping us separate is having our two rooms and one bathroom down at the end of the second floor hallway. There are males roomed in the next room and their bathroom is at the other end of the hall. The third floor is all males and that is where the TV room is. The women have no separate work out area, dining area or even TV room. The TV room is more of a hang out and break rules room than anything - so bring your own TV and/or DVD player and stick to being in your own room. Yes, people may call this isolation, I call it surviving the half way house.

The males are told to "stay away" from our doors and do not use the women's only bathroom (that is clearly marked). But do you think this works? If you guessed "No" you are right. There were instances of men showering in our bathroom and one bigger gentlemen even broke our toilet seat - I won't get into the specifics on that one. They come and knock on my door at 2am, not looking for me but for a roommate. This really freaked me out considering they can basically "peep" in the window. The doors have a small let's say 12"x12" window that is covered with a towel hung up with push pins - very classy and secure stuff and easily accessible for peeping Tom's! There are areas of the house where the camera's can not see - and from what I was told from another inmate I was in RDAP with, these rooms are typically called the "boom boom room" - again, some things I don't need to explain. 

The half way house is required to provide hygiene - well, the men decided that they liked the Suave deodorant for the ladies better than the Speed Stick for men which left us out of deodorant and the half way house refusing to order any until the men's was gone. So yes, now you have women trying to find a job smelling like a man. Seems petty, but it's just one of the many instances when being a woman is definitely a disadvantage. And chow, well let's just say if you're not the first few in line, good luck getting certain items. They have gotten better at this and staff does most of the serving - but there is never a time where someone doesn't have 20 juices in their room and we have none for breakfast or the hard boiled eggs are gone by 5am because some weightlifting male is on an all protein kick (mind you breakfast starts at 6am) - maybe not just a "man" thing - but more like an untrained animal thing. Some do not show respect - and that's just how it is. I was told a women's place is to clean - the men shouldn't have chores in the half way house - we are lucky Freckles has not had to get her tongue surgically re-attached after biting it off!

I guess if you're heading there looking for a "date" (and you're not gay) you're odds are pretty good. Some of the men are genuine stalkers, 30+ phone calls and/or texts in maybe 10 minutes, professing their love for you and wondering why you won't give them any attention but you did kiss them in the courtyard - again, you can't tell "security" because then you are a "rat" but you may indeed feel threatened. If you are looking for other female support or time away from the gawking males who haven't seen women in years - well good luck. Like always, there are the respectful ones - and as a person my advice is to find them and don't date at the half way house. Like my boss in prison once said - "don't sh*t where you eat"...." -Freckles

There are different rules in every HWH. Freckles happens to have been placedin one where the number of men far outnumber the number of women and therefore, there is a lot of interaction. A roommate of mine in Carswell was from another city and she received brochures from four HWHs while we were there, each with different rules around how much interaction you could have with the opposite gender. In some, just being friendly can get you a violation, in others you can date. None will allow sexual interactions that I know of (not that it doesn't happen. While I was at my HWH, one girl, who was already pregnant, was always trying to talk with this guy on the other side of the dining wall who she kinda knew from before and make "plans" for meeting up. That's the only time we ever saw or heard the guys, during meals when we shared the same space separated by a folding half wall.

Anyway, more from Freckles to come next week!