Back to Prison

I hope the title of this post did not give you a heart attack. Tuesday I visited a large men’s state penitentiary as part of an Inside-Out workshop. Inside-Out is an AMAZING program in which professors teach courses to half college students, half prisoners at the same time. The college students travel to the prison weekly to attend their course. Faculty facilitate a learning process on a topic of interest in a very active and engaging format. The prisoners and students are held to the same standards and receive college credit.

This program absolutely blew me away!! It encompasses so many of my passions: teaching & learning (pedagogy), transformative education, corrections, compassion, and hope! The men at the medium/high security prison displayed incredible leadership, passion, intelligence, humility, and kindness. I’ve known for some time that I want to be certified as an Inside-Out instructor, but now I know that I MUST do it! My next step will be to try and advocate for the funding from my school to help pay for the cost of the training. If at all possible, I hope to do the week long training next summer. Here’s more information on the Inside-Out prison exchange program: http://www.insideoutcenter.org/about-inside-out.html

So, I can’t just write about the program without a true reflection of the first experience I’ve had walking into a prison since my release three years ago. To say that the minute we were driving past the rows of barbed wire and then walking through the prison’s front door flooded me with emotions is an understatement. I suddenly was back to my day of self-surrender where I walked into prison with my personal clothing and brought into a small room and ordered to strip. This of course did not happen Tuesday. It was the first time I entered a prison without having to “squat and spread ‘em.”

Although a different prison than Carswell in nearly every way - men, size, age of facility, traditional prison cells, etc., some things were very much the same. Our group was nearly 60 people and we buses to the prison from our criminal justice conference. We were to arrive around noon and spend 12-4:30ish in the workshop. As you know, though, prison is a lot of “hurry up and wait.” We had to wait in the lobby for over an hour and a half as the institution was running their own schedule and then count took longer than expected. Hearing about count took me right back inside during one of the many counts that didn’t go quickly. I would stand for one count, then another, and another, my feel and legs hurting but no choice but to comply with the COs standing count rules.

We entered the prison lobby where many visitors also stood. Amazingly, this prison allows visitation 6-7 Days per week!!! My group’s privilege immediately apparent as we took up every seat on the lobby benches while visiting prisoner family members were forced to stand and wait.

Once permitted to enter beyond the lobby, we signed in where a C.O. talked with us with respect and another put a visitor wrist band on us. It was still hurry up and wait, as we each had to get our hand stamped and then put it under a black light. The female C.O. joked around with me about our short height resulting in my having to get very close. Did I ever have a C.O. joke around with me and laugh with me when I was a prisoner?

We then each went through the metal detectors. Like at Carswell, many items were forbidden - underwire bras, food/drink, digital watches or fitbits, revealing clothing, bags/purses, etc. While my visiting family and friends had to go through similar processes, I never did prior. Above the metal detector hung a wood sign that said, “Safety is not Convenient.” It took nearly 30 minutes for all of us to move through the entry process.

The workshop was held in a large room that seemed to be a very old auditorium. There were rows of seats facing a stage and a large empty area where chairs were arranged in circles. Inside-Out does nearly all their activities and education in circles.

As we entered this auditorium, approximately 15 prisoners greeted us with introductions and handshakes. They seemed excited about what lay ahead for the afternoon. We were informed to take a seat in one of two circle of chairs, facing outward. In front of each set of chairs, was one chair facing them, the Inside-Out prisoners sat in those chairs. Then one of the prisoners took leadership and ran us through a great ice breaker where the leader gave an incomplete sentence and we each had to give our thoughts/answers for filling in the blank. “The street sign that currently defines my life is_____”, “the future of the justice system looks like ______”, ... there were about ten rounds and a different prisoner sat in the chair facing mine after each question. What a great way to meet so many of the prisoners and get to know them through their answers.

Most of the rest of our activities were in smaller groups of about 7-8 people. Each group was led by one of the prisoners. Activities included identifying the values of a just system, creating a model of a transformed criminal justice system of the future, shared dialogue, and much more. By the time we had to leave after 5pm due to the late start, everyone in the room was transformed. Connection was built as we shared ideas of restoration, wellness, education, Love, compassion, and much more. The depth and intellect of the inside-out prisoners far exceeded anything I witnessed in carswell. Many of these men were lifers, yet they maintained hope, were lifelong learners, displayed incredible teamwork, showed respect for one another, and valued this opportunity.

Interestingly, I of course wanted to observe the prison staff. Although a medium/high security prison,there were three C.O.’s with us throughout the afternoon. They relaxed in the distance and paid little attention to the community building occurring between the prisoners and our group. One C.O. Was on bathroom duty, because only one person could use it at a time. Now this was something I was used to - asking permission to use the restriom. With permission, I had to walk up 1 1/2 flights of stairs to a very old room with supplies and a sink. A heavy door that did not fully close or lock had the sign “visitor and staff restroom.” Everything in the bathroom was aged and sad. I never thought about the fact that in some prisons, even C.O.’s have below adequate facilities. In the case of this prison, though, a new prison is currently being built down the road and this very old building will no longer exist within a year or so. Everyone will be moved. I imagine the prisoners and staff look forward to the change.

I was told by program staff that I should not mention my criminal history to anyone associated with the prison. You all know me, though, that rule was defied as soon as I met one of the male prisoners who asked a question that either required I reveal or a lie. I revealed in the end to about 3 of the prisoners in private conversation. I did not to the C.O.’s. The prisoners were my peers, and I still saw the staff as my enemy. There was a bond I immediate felt toward the men in prison garb, me aware of my privilege of still wearing everything I wore from the free world. One prisoner wore a crochet hat. I let him know I liked it and he said it was contraband. Another inmate made it. Yeah, I understood that. The underground market.

The ability to sit with other prisoners and share stories of similarity and difference was incredible. At this prison, the men can purchase is commissary a flat screen tv for their cells, tablets without internet for music, writing and reading, hot plates, and many other items unheard of at FMC Carswell. In fact their email system is that the men write their emails on their tablet and later plug into a station which downloads them and sends them to the institution to be processed and sent. I can’t even imagine how many more blog posts and how much more detail I could have written during prison, if I were able to do the writing offline first without time limit or cost!!

What an amazing program and amazing day! http://www.insideoutcenter.org/