From Dragonfly: Purgatory

Purgatory is about being in that halfway place (right??). Well, that is where I am right now. It is 11 days and a wake up before I am supposedly going to home confinement. Region had me go through more hoops, like Sporty was successful getting me an appointment at my rheumatologist for May 29th (means I must be home on the 28th, right??), so they moved my file forward to the halfway house. Well, a couple halfway houses... they need to see who may be able to take me in for a day or two in just 1 1/2 weeks. Once they hear back, my electronic file will show my new designation and that's when the wheels start moving here at Carswell.

The most important thing is getting me home. Since this is a medical facility, some people are flown home, but the vast majority are bused. Greyhound must make a fortune off the BOP. Families are allowed to purchase a flight for their loved one, but there are time parameters and you have to know where in a state you are going... unfortunately, I have none of this information. Today was the first time I was close enough to a "yes, you are leaving in 1 1/2 weeks" to actually talk to the woman who I need to talk to about travel, and she is off. Monday morning, I will be stationed outside her door at 7:30am (as I was today, but she never came in).

I was going to have my family possibly fly me home. A two-day bus ride sounds tortuous on my body. Plus, I will be carrying medication that needs to stay cold. However, I have not been told yet what halfway house I will be going to. I don't know if the BOP has me designated to be flown. Flights are getting much more expensive by the day. I'd rather that money help me get myself back on my feet at home. So, I decided to put it in god's hands. All I care about is getting out. I would walk home (even though it would take me a year), if I had to. The BOP will be responsible for ensuring my medication gets packed in ice. The BOP will pay for all my travel meals, cab rides, and the bus/plane ticket. It will be up to the BOP to decide if I have to leave prior to my home confinement date, in order to ensure I make that doctor appointment on the morning of the 29th. The BOP will have to consider that Monday will be Memorial Day, and I can't leave that day... maybe that can help make it a flight home. Who knows? I'm beyond the ability to control that situation. So, I release it (although, I will stay checking in with staff to make sure I don't fall through the cracks again).

Maybe I can pick up a disposable camera as I take the bus. I can take photos of all the small towns we stop in. I can people watch and try to figure out who else is in a similar situation to me. I can journal the experience. I can read a book or three. Maybe the bus will have a movie and I'll have to purchase some headphones. Maybe the plane will. I will pray that they fly me home on the morning of the 28th. If not, though, it will be okay.

So, I'm in purgatory. I think I am going home. It's like 95% definite. People who are leaving 2 months after me already have their travel booked. I do not. My case is still under review. It's hard to be in purgatory, but not impossible. If I could do 9 months of prison and all it's uncertainties, changes, and chaos, I certainly can handle not knowing how or when I am leaving.