My Presentations and a lot of Sleep

As mentioned in a previous post, I am at a conference this week. It is actually one of the largest annual conferences of criminal justice scholars in the world and this year happens to be in Washington D.C. I had two presentations - one based on my autoethnography (this blog) and one based on my summer research project around prison transgender policies. Aside from my part on those two panels, I attended numerous other sessions on such topics as effects on early decisions and programs in cases, sentencing disparities, women and crime, and so much more. I was going to attend a session around prison education, but a professor I had just met who was fascinated by my background insisted I not attend that session as it "would just frustrate me..." and then she followed up with, "you should be teaching on these issues." She had just started talking to me ten minutes earlier because we happened to sit next to each other in the hallway.

Yesterday, during the roundtable discussion on life in prison, I was pleasantly surprised to find 13 people in the room. That is a great turn out for a roundtable- especially given our 8am time slot and that we were opposite a major breakfast event for those in the Sentencing and Incarceration division (which even we on the panel should be attending!) bad timing indeed.

The three other papers being presented were fascinating and I was so happy to be among such a great group of people and research. When it was time for questions, I was surprised when people seemed most interested in my little independent research project on transgender prison policies. I answered each to the best of my ability and several people asked for my email after the session. This was exciting! Yes, I did share my personal prison experience as I am continuing this research to focus on women's prisons, as most policies appear to be written primarily for Male to Female transgender individuals, yet the Female to Male transgender individual appears invisible in most policy. Many transgender individuals (not just drag) are housed for safety reasons in female prisons, yet it is a very complex state by state policy based on several factors including surgery, hormones, and much more! I do not know of any Female to Male transgender individual housed in general population in a male prison. Like I said, complex.

Anyway, following the presentation, one of the professors on my panel walked up to me in the hotel lobby and asked if she could keep in touch with me. She also asked if I will be on the academic job market after I receive my Phd. I explained that it is a far way off... Couple years. She didn't care. She said that I BELONG in academia and that she's going to keep in touch with me. I think I really needed that boost right now with being so buried in my work! I started questioning my goals! 

The bad part of this trip, though, is my health. It's fall and I'm flaring! Fatigue at its worst and pain is awful. I was able to do about 3/4 of a day out before the conference before I could no longer handle the day. I've been in every night. Wednesday night, I passed out before 8pm and woke just in time to catch my uber for my conference in the morning. Yesterday, I only made it half the day at the conference, was asleep at 4pm and woke from 8am-midnight. I'm getting done what I must for my classes, but I'm not getting ahead, going to more of the conference, or taking in this great city of Washington D.C. These are the moments I wish I did not have a chronic illness. I know I will be better than this. I just have to wait it out.

Today, I make my way back home. The conference lasts until tomorrow, but my graduate school travel fellowship did not cover enough for me to afford to stick around. I also miss my family. Sporty is with me, but TS, Penny and the puppies are at home waiting. 

I think I made a decent first appearance at this very large conference. For Dragonfly Hazel's first public appearance, no academic immediately questioned my ability to use this site for research purposes. My life and the lives of so many others are changed through incarceration within the federal women's prison system. We are now one step closer to some new research on the subject!