From Dragonfly: ...and a Wake Up

There's a saying here in prison. It goes, "____ days and a wake up." Some will say, "100 days and a wake up." Others may be a little giddy and say, "One day and a wake up." What does it mean? It means that in that many days (plus one night's sleep), they are being released. For example, today a very nice woman is headed home. She is a professional marketer and, also, is going to start her own non-profit related to women prisoners. Yesterday, I saw her in the tv room and said, "all you have now is a wake-up." She was all smiles! I wished her well this morning and hope that she can find serenity by finally walking outside the gates of this prison!

I do not count my days yet. I do not know how many more "wake ups" I will have. It is more than I've been here, so it is not soon enough. Plus, I don't know yet if I can get my care level decreased. The 4-5 month difference in when I can leave Carswell is substantial to my number of "wake ups."

At least my wake "wake ups" are comfortable now. Yesterday, my new crocheted blanket was completed. It is aryn (off white) and cafe (brown) and done in a waffle type stitch (can't remember the exact name of the stitch). It is soft, warm, and only MINE! My other blankets have been owned by countless women before me. My pillow has been slept on by many, many heads. I try not to think about it, as it would make me nervous (this is a medical facility... we have no idea the illnesses of the people around us or before us).

I, also, finally was listened to on my pillow issue (being allergic to feathers). I was given a plastic "hypo-allergenic" pillow cover that zippers. I put it on my pillow and my pillow case (stained before I even received it) on top. The pillow cover, at least, was brand new in package. It is kind of like having a hospital pillow, as the plastic case crunches with movement. At least the feathers are not against my face anymore.

All this does not help me get very many zzzzzzz's. There is never time of full quiet on the unit. With open doorways, we can even hear snoring from 5 rooms over. Also, people talk, and talk, and talk. The ice machine bangs, turns off, turns on, releases ice, etc. Plus there is never darkness. There are lights on every night. The C.O. decides which "safety" lights he wants to keep on. It appears that every C.O. has their own choices. None leave the room dark. Plus, there is a huge pole with 6 lights on it that shines in my window. If I wanted to, I wouldn't even need my book light to read. Freckles made a very creative eye mask. I may soon follow suit.

It seems my best sleep is when I can get a nap in. Nearly every day, I fall asleep at some point when we are preparing for count. I don't sleep long, but my roommates are always waking me to stand up. Somehow, I don't hear the C.O.'s yelling, "Stand Up Count!" This must be a very deep sleep!

I am awake every morning before 6 am. My friends would know that it is a very different schedule than I used to keep. Mornings are hard, but I get myself up, showered, dressed and by the time Freckles and I walk to breakfast, I am mostly coherent. By now, 7:15am, I am thinking and ready... it's time to go to work!