From Dragonfly: Addiction

I'd like to write that addiction does not exist on the inside of prison, but that would be fooling myself and you... Addiction and addictive behavior is rampant. First, there are the drug users. There are a number of ways pills get around - one is the person who puts a bag of pills up a body edifice, I can't imagine, and then passes the strip search, upon entry to the prison. Another way pills are passed around are through people who go through pill line, and then stick the pill to their inside upper gums using denture glue - so when they open their mouth, it looks like they must have swallowed the pill. Some pills are "self-carry," but not the ones that people like to take to get high or numb themselves. I'd like to say that I don't know any of these people who trade pills, take pills, deal pills, or similar - but in fact, I know many. I see students come to the GED classes high, I see people who sleep all day, drugged out of their mind, I see people pass out during count, because they are too "f-d" up to stand up. It happens. It's very sad to me.

Those with drug related offenses on their PSI are usually recommended for the RDAP program (a residential drug abuse program). There is also a weekly program that is less intense. I recently learned that RDAP does not allow the participants to consider their drug use as an "emotional illness" - which is what the 12-step recovery programs stand on. I find it odd, because the emotional illness underlies all the irrational behavior that leads to our addiction. Anyway, even people in these prison programs are taking pills on the side.

Aside from the drug users, there are alcoholics. How, you may ask? There isn't any alcohol allowed in prison. However, I've actually seen people make a jug of "hooch" from alcohol pads. Disgusting!!!! I've seen people let their apples get so old that they make a natural "alcohol." It's non-stop here, the lengths people will go to in order to feed their addictive needs. I can't imagine any desire leading someone to such alcohol off an alcohol pad!!!

There are also nicotine addicts. Okay, smoking is forbidden, but occurs every day and all day. There are ways to sneak the tobacco in (see how people sneak drugs in), and there are people who somehow have access to rolling papers and the like. Somewhere on campus, the people sneak off and light up. They pay as much as $5 for a cig (paid out in commissary). And you thought smoking was an expensive habit on the outside!!!!

Another addiction is the need for sex and affection. Many women use their relationships as escapes from the reality of being in prison. They do risky behavior and get into odd situations to be part of their relationship. The drama is just as addictive as the relationship itself.

A big addiction here is food. The average weight gain is 55 pounds. I've written about that before. There are people who can't hold a bag of chips without eating the entire bag. They always eat everything on their dinner tray, as well as some of their neighbor's tray. Then, there are conversations about "starving" oneself or bulimic activities. These are talked about, as if they are normal behaviors.

So many symbols of addiction are here in prison. So little in terms of real recovery. I miss my GA program SOOOOO much. I miss the understanding of people who have worked hard to lead healthier lives. I am one example, though, of someone who is doing her best to avoid all these kinds of addictive behaviors. It is quite possible and people will pretty much leave you alone if you show no interest in their behaviors. Also, keeping my mouth shut about who, what and where is essential. I just turn my back, and do my best to forget what I'd just seen or heard. It's possible.