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Saturday, March 22, 2014

From Dragonfly: Snapped

I guess you could say that one of my defects came out this morning. I watched the person who was bullying me get into a fight - a good old fashion fight with scratches and punches and a lot of screaming. An officer saw the incident and immediately got the two brought to the office. We were all sure of the result, these two were going to the SHU. That's what happens when you fight, if a punch is thrown, both people go to the SHU - even the victim.

Well, no one went to the SHU. The "victim" of this situation certainly did not want to go to the SHU and the two individuals have a long history as roommates. So, they both said, "nothing happened." Although an officer was witness, the insistence that nothing happened resulted in no one going anywhere and the two of them remaining roommates, for the time being.

So, what was my "defect?" I was gloating after the fight. I had been questioning why I'd quit the job I loved. I've had many, many students come up to me, upset with my decision. I'm helping several outside of school - one with writing, a couple with math, etc. I love teaching, have two months left, and started to question whether I'd over reacted.

However, the fight this morning was assurance that I had, in fact, done the right thing. The number of times this individual stood over me, pointing at me, bullying me, had me knowing that had I done anything other than walk away, she would have been just moments from snapping at me. I had blamed myself for just "taking it" and not saying something back, but this morning showed me how close I really was to being on the wrong side of this woman's fist. I am not a fighter, it would have been a one-way fight. So, all those times I just walked away, that was the right thing to do. I thank God for the advice my gambling counselor gave me when we worked on what I should do when someone is acting crazy at me, "walk away" was her advice. Yep, best advice. It stopped the incidents, I didn't cower, and I didn't get angry back.

I need not gloat. The woman is still at the job I love and I pray is doing a great job with the students. I am the one who is in my unit during the day, trying to fill up my time productively. I did what I had to do for myself, but it's not something I would have ever wanted to do. I know, though, that I did the right thing, even if it was the hard thing, because I have no doubt that by today, it would have been me, it would have been me... she was that close to snapping and it would have been me.

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