I Meet My First Carswell C.O.

Today we made it to Fort Worth, Texas and made our first stop finding FMC Carswell. I read multiple times on Prison Talk that people get lost often. I was pleased to find the prison on my google maps, and this is what we found (the following is a video - make sure you turn up your sound):

Things did not end there, however. We soon learned that we had found the right gate for weekend visitation (there is no longer Friday or Monday visitation at Carswell for some reason), but a different gate for self-surrender. I’m not sure how I was supposed to know this specific information, but I was open and honest with the Corrections Officer at the visitation security booth and he told me and Survivor to pull over and he would come over and give me directions to the “right” gate and some “hints” for doing my time at Carswell.

I need to start by saying that this C.O. was incredibly friendly, even when what he was telling me was  un-politically correct. In fact, I’m going to share some of the transcript with you – the breaks are because he was also waving cars by and doing the job he was supposed to do. He talked to us for over 15 minutes. We asked little - he offered all the topics and his comments. I imagine he's been asked some questions before. I imagine most haven't done the research I have. I’m keeping him anonymous – but as I said, he was kind. Later today, I looked at Survivor and commented, “oh my, his speech was almost identical to the counselor’s speech to Piper on her first day in 'Orange is the New Black'!” I kid you not. If I stay away from trouble and keep to myself, I will be okay. Oh, and stay away from the 'lesbians'. Don’t we all hear that advice over and over again?

 “Here’s the advice I’m going to give you. Come here. Do your time. Be as productive as you can while you are here. You only have a year, right? Ten months or so. So, you already need to be in the mindset of getting out. You don’t need to get involved with all the bullshit that goes on in prison. Because there is quite a bit of it. I’m not going to lie. 'Dyking' and all that stuff. It’s a female prison. It goes on here. Just like it would go on at a male prison. If you do the right things, people aren’t going to mess with you, because they want to be involved in the dirty stuff. Does that make sense to you? So, if they get an inkling that you want to go that route, they’re going to suck you right in….”

“About the medical care. You can read all kinds of stuff about any hospital not just a prison. Pull up any hospital and you’re going to read all kinds of crap. You can find good things you hear bad things. I’ll tell you this. The inmates here will see the same doctor here and you and I would. They don’t make, trust me when I tell you this, they’re not calling around to see who is the cheapest doctor, they’re not taking you in the alley somewhere to get you some treatment or nothing like that. You are going to get the best medical care that you can find. So, I hope that helps ease your mind. Okay? This is a hospital, so we have nurses, we actually have PA’s here, we have everything you need at a regular hospital, other than we are not going to do operations or anything like that. All that gets sent out to the local hospitals. The guards go with you. You get your medical stuff done and you come back. So, that should ease your mind. Right about that part anyway…”

“As far as like the prison life itself, inside of the prison, it’s a lot harder inside than if you were going to the camp. That’s why I asked you if you were going to the camp. Because of your medical condition, this is the only medical center. So, with that being said, right, in those housing units, depending on where they put you, typically 200-300 inmates per housing unit with just one officer, so you really got to look out for yourself. Like I said, if you stayed to yourself, I’m not telling you to come here and not to talk to people. You know, do like you would do out on the street in an unfamiliar area. You know use your manners and stuff like that. There’s a lot of programs that you can get involved with. Like I said, remember, you’re going to have a short time. Get involved as soon as you walk in the door. Start with education. They’ve got the chapel. They’ve got all kinds of programs. If you want to lose some weight, they have a walking track, it’s a half a mile. Get out there and walk early in the morning, you don’t have to jog. Right? You’re going to have a job, right? Depending on how bad your sickness is, you may not have a job while you are here. But then you might. You might want one. So, you’ll see inmates that don’t want to do nothing while they’re here…”

“The food, it’s not the greatest. But I’ll tell you this, it’s better than the troops are eating over in the desert. So, when it comes to that kind of stuff, the inmates, I hear them complaining, but I don’t hear them. Does that make sense? Cause a lot of these inmates, they have it better than they did out on the streets. It might not be better than you’ve been used to, but a lot better than some of them. So, you take it for what it’s worth. You know? We have a commissary, so you’ll go shopping in the commissary. A lot of the inmates – I mean you’re going to notice all these games that the inmates play – you’ll, I mean, being around on the street you’re going to be able to see them. You’re going to see inmates running around and doing whatever. You do what you think is right. Obviously, if you go and tell and they find out who told, you’re going to cause problems for yourself, right? Now, on the down low, we always get a lot of inmates dropping notes or they catch the officer by themselves. Well, that’s on you to do. We’re not going to ask you to do it. A lot of the inmates feel that they need to do that. Unbelievable stuff that goes on here in prison.”

I really liked this part of his monologue to me:

“Trust me, this is going to be a life changing experience for you. The bad thing about this is that you’re the one getting the time, …., anybody in your life is also getting to experience this at the same time. While you’re doing your time, everything comes to a standstill. It’s not just you. Okay, so don’t go in there and get to being sorry about yourself, because you’re not the only one doing the time. Your family is too. It sucks for me to come here and have to see the families come inside to visit….”

 “So, have a tough skin when you get here. Not too tough, okay? You’re a woman, so it’s okay to be a woman… Ten months is a short time. To be honest with you, if there’s anything else medically wrong with you, this is the time to get it fixed. You know what I’m saying? It’s going to be free. Everything is going to be free, so anything that you usually have copays out there, you’re not going to have to pay for here. Okay now, they do charge for sick calls and things like that, it’s like $2.00 bucks. You know what I’m saying? Personally, if I was locked down, I’d get everything done. So, don’t turn this into a negative. Make sure you’re keeping it positive. Like I said, you’ve got a short time. You’re going to see those inmates doing 30, 40, 50 years, life. Don’t get sucked into them suckers. Because they’re going to try to be your buddy. Because they know what you get out, you’re going to have a job and they want money coming back in. When you get here you’re not going to have a single friend. You’re not coming here with anyone going in or out, because that’s how you’re going to leave, by yourself.”

He then told me to be incredibly grateful for my circle of people supporting me from the outside and to assure everyone that I’m okay – no matter what – I’m okay. CO's will call me "inmate" or by my last name. I am to refer to the CO's by Officer (insert last name here) and look them in their eyes. I should respect the officers even if I were to bump into them after I leave the prison.

“I didn’t put you here, you put yourself in here.”

I appreciated his candor and support and the fact that he was straight forward and kind. He kind of lost me a bit with "dyking," as his judgements of people showed nearly immediately. But, generally, his advice is true and while I do not intend to get excessive medical care I do not need, I will try to make the best of my time in Carswell.