My Friends Inside

There are rules. Serious rules. While on supervision, I cannot knowingly have contact with another felon. That means that I am not to write or contact any of the people I consider a friend who is still incarcerated, or who has a previous conviction (unless I get permission from my PO). Other than those GA folks I received approval for, it will be very difficult staying in touch with those I met on the inside.

I hate the idea that if I want to send a card or something to Freckles, Lola, or Taz, it is a violation of my supervision. Serious violations or repeat violations could land me right back in Carswell. Being as the authorities know of this blog (and may not be happy with all it's content) and know I'm the one maintaining it, I could be an easy target to punish. That, is definitely not something I want to have happen. I never want to be incarcerated again!

So, I have to trust that my friends know I'm thinking of them. Once in a while, I hear of updates, and I'll share some of those with you. For some of my former comrades, it could be years until we speak again. They are never far from my thoughts, however.

Lola LOVES Carswell Camp. Even the food is better on that side of the fence. They have a lot of freedom and the scenery and wildlife is wonderful to watch. Squirrels will literally come to your room's window and look at you until you exit your room with food. That's well trained wildlife! Plus, with Lola in the puppy program, she gets to spend her days with a happy puppy to hug and care for. How wonderful!

Freckles has had to go through a couple tough weeks at the end of her time at Carswell. The accusations that led to her termination from education went viral there, and she is the focus of a lot of gossip. Her birthday is this week, and I just pray our friends do right by her! She has three weeks to go - so ridiculous since she was supposed to get out of there two weeks ago.

Taz is working on a 2255 of her sentence. The 2255 is a basic appeal saying that your lawyer, the judge, or the sentence decision was a mistake. Many inmates file them, few make it to real consideration. Taz had a deal that turned out to be a lie and she never knew that they would pursue federal time for her. She has proof of conversations with promises that prosecutors would keep the case from going federal. She signed and then the federal charges came immediately after. So uncool!

By now, Nurse should have been transferred to Victorville. I pray they give her the protein supplements she never received at Carswell. I'm happy she can see her grand daughter again - that little girl is her pride and joy!

Mama's paperwork has gone through for a transfer closer to home. After losing nearly 150 pounds in less than a year, Mama is off 90% of her medication and all the docs cleared her for transfer. I pray that comes soon - as her sons are finally home with her parents and her family is so happy to be back together again, except for Mama.

I wish I were allowed to communicate with these and other friends. I truly care about their well-being. I guess I'll just keep them in my thoughts and look forward to the day that we can speak again. We've been through our worst together, I look forward to being able to share our best!

They Lied to Me

I guess I knew it at the time, but I tend to take things at face value. It never made sense how I was first told I was transferring to the Carswell Camp, then told nothing ever had been processed, then told I would be transferred again, and then told I was denied the transfer to the camp due to my enbrel medication. At some point, the frustration just gets to be too much, and you just stop asking questions like, "why?" When you do ask, they don't usually give you a real answer.

It was in a letter I received from someone who went to the camp that I learned there are people there on my same medication and on my same dosage. Not only that, they are going to start my friend on Humira (same type of injection as mine) and she gets to stay at the Carswell Camp. In other words, there is ABSOLUTELY NO REASON, I could not have transferred to the camp.

I was lied to, but so are so many others. People are so lazy there and they are constantly making up new policies. Catch the wrong person on the wrong day, and you are put on the back burner, while others with similar situations get listened to. Problem is, you never know who is the wrong person on any given day.

It has taken Nurse nearly a full year to get her transfer to Victorville, even though she was supposed to go before the 2013 holidays. Freckles had to watch all her RDAP buddies leave, while she had to wait an extra month with no real explanation. People's surgeries are promised to them, but years later they are still being told it will happen. Bandana has been waiting for necessary shoulder surgery for over four years. Taz has to wait five years for dentures because the marshals lost hers when she was transferred to Carswell. Five years without most of her teeth. Really?

For me, I accepted that I would not leave FMC Carswell for the camp. I figured there must have been some reason I wasn't meant to transfer. With my shorter sentence, I was okay staying put with most of my friends.

What I do know, now, though is that the Caswell Camp is way better than the medical center. I've learned that the food is better, visitation is better, jobs are better, the dog program is great, you can enjoy the lake view, the rec is pretty awesome, and they have high quality hobby craft classes. Also, the staff is way more laid back and inmates feel like people, only the puppies are treated like animals (and even they get respect).

I suppose if I knew then what I know now, I would have fought the denial. I can't say it would have done me any good. The medical team refused my transfer without ever meeting me. I guess I was just someone who's paperwork found the wrong person on the wrong day - result "transfer to camp denied."