A Felony is a Felony

My university informed me that I need to submit the court documents related to my felony in order for them to make a final admissions decision. Since everything I read stated that it's the department that makes graduate admission decisions, I asked what the official university policy was on admittance of students with past felonies. The woman I was talking to said, "it goes before a committee... We need to make sure there's no threat of harm to the university or students." 

I responded, "it was a nonviolent felony."

She responded, "a felony is a felony," in a rather accusatory way.

I need to disagree - a felony is not just a felony. There are class A, B, and C felonies. There are violent and non-violent crimes. There are repeat offenders and first time offenders. There are juvenile offenders and adult offenders. A felony is NOT just a felony!!

It takes me back to my time at Carswell when C.O.'s made statements like, "you all lie." Just because some people lie, doesn't mean we all do. Just because some people break the rules, doesn't mean we all will. Life is not black vs. white - there's a whole lot of grey in the middle!

So, I'm going to gather the documents...

Ten hours later... I'm now finishing this blog post. I had all the documents I needed to send on my computer except for my release paper which I scanned and added to my electronic legal file. I decided to send my PSR/PSI, the court judgment, and my release paper. There is no list of what I need to provide, so I figured that would be the most balanced of items to send.

With the documents, I sent an email that listed three professionals - two from the university and my PO, that they could speak with if they need to. I have nothing to hide and I want them to see that people in the university are supporting my application.

I also sent the statement, "I hope to be able to officially be enrolled soon. Thank you!!" I wanted to keep the email positive, even though she'd made it clear that not only is a felony a felony, but a felon is a felon in her mind. Without knowing anything about me, she decided I was the same as John Wayne Gacy, Susan Smith, Ted Bundy, and Lizzie Borden.

I emailed the documents to her at 2:30 this afternoon, and I like to think that she chose to look through them before her response at 4pm which said, "Thank you for sending this information so quickly!  I will see that someone reviews this on Monday, I will let you know when I hear something." Quite a change of attitude from our phone conversation earlier. Also, she put, "Best," as the salutation. I hope she realizes she was wishing the best to a real live felon!!!

I could have really talked back to the woman earlier on the phone. I could have shown anger and become belligerent from her judgment. Instead, I hope I chose the higher road, and just maybe, showed this woman that a felon is not just a felon; and a felony is not just a felony.

Two Weeks at Home

After two weeks on home confinement, I really question why this is not a viable option for so many non-violent offenders that are sent to our federal prisons. I am culpable for my actions, I am able to take on real responsibilities and work, I can maintain community ties, and I'm much more likely to be able to meet my restitution requirements. I'd like to say that there was some benefit I received by doing my time in a prison, but the benefits I received were of my own doing. There was no program, staff member, or opportunity offered by the BOP that made it make sense for me to be in prison. Here, I'm still under BOP custody, AND I'm able to be a much more productive member of society.

I admit home confinement isn't the right fit for everyone. You have to be fairly independent. You have to accept limitations to freedom. You have to marry your home phone. You have to be able to support yourself or have someone willing to help you out. You have to follow lots of rules - some that may be illogical. You have to keep your home alcohol and drug free. You have to have healthy outlets for stress at home. You have to be willing to go wherever the BOP wants you to go and whenever they want you to. You have to be able to answer your phone out of a deep sleep in the middle of the night. You have to allow strangers to randomly stop by anywhere you are supposed to be to ensure you are there.

I am doing pretty well on home confinement. I really have no complaints. Due to my health, I've had a lot of practice spending long periods of time at home. I'm also lucky to always have the great companionship of Superdog, who still rarely leaves my side. Having a pet at home can make home confinement much more bearable.

I have just over two more weeks until I'm officially at my "out date" and supervision starts. I'm hoping the last year has helped me slow down enough, that I don't try doing everything my freedom gives me at once. Supervision will come with its own set of challenges that I imagine I will face. Even so, this home confinement options seems like a good option for so many people. With the prisons overcrowded with too many non-violent offenders, a home confinement sentence in lieu of prison should be considered a much more viable option and better for community as a whole!

A Rift in the Plan

I'm not sure why I was not more concerned before now. Maybe it was just a wish, an inability to accept the truth, a hope, I don't know. It wasn't until I was talking with Hansom the other night and we were talking about my including him on my list of 30. We can each bring in a list of 30 names, addresses, phone numbers, and emails of people that we want to stay in touch with while we are incarcerated. We can add/delete people as we need, and they must agree to be communicated with by phone and email (which is monitored just like mail is read), but there is a limited number of people we can put on the list and I wanted Hansom to be one of them and he wanted to be as well.

The thing is, I've mention that Hansom has a felony on his record. He is off probation. However, he may not be allowed to be on my list anyway. There are very strict rules about inmates communicating with current or ex felons. We ended our call with the fact that we will try.

However, our conversation brought me to the reality of something much bigger, and he is aware of this as well, that Survivor may also not be allowed to have any communication with me either. Survivor is my friend, GA sponsor, family, support, confidante, hero, late night texting, laughing, crying, fun loving, understanding, sisterly, caring, loving, other pea in my pod. She is my rock in recovery and has been there at all my darkest moments. The idea of no communication at all with her for nearly a year terrifies me. She is the one person I know can and would visit me (she can fly for free due to her prior career with the airlines). She also recently survived breast cancer and has another surgery scheduled soon after my self surrender (which she put off because of wanting to be at my sentencing and such). I only imagined being incarcerated with knowing my other "pea" was just a phone call, email, or letter away. 

Prison talk (once again, a really good website to join for offenders and their family/friends) confirmed that it is likely Survivor will be initially refused from my visitor list and that she may try to appeal. I'm still waiting to hear about whether other forms of communication will likely be restricted as well. 

I guess it is good to know all this a month before I go in. I will have time to prepare mentally/emotionally. It is something we should all be aware of, though, even with our best intentions, the BOP could put a rift in our plans.