Two Weeks at Home

After two weeks on home confinement, I really question why this is not a viable option for so many non-violent offenders that are sent to our federal prisons. I am culpable for my actions, I am able to take on real responsibilities and work, I can maintain community ties, and I'm much more likely to be able to meet my restitution requirements. I'd like to say that there was some benefit I received by doing my time in a prison, but the benefits I received were of my own doing. There was no program, staff member, or opportunity offered by the BOP that made it make sense for me to be in prison. Here, I'm still under BOP custody, AND I'm able to be a much more productive member of society.

I admit home confinement isn't the right fit for everyone. You have to be fairly independent. You have to accept limitations to freedom. You have to marry your home phone. You have to be able to support yourself or have someone willing to help you out. You have to follow lots of rules - some that may be illogical. You have to keep your home alcohol and drug free. You have to have healthy outlets for stress at home. You have to be willing to go wherever the BOP wants you to go and whenever they want you to. You have to be able to answer your phone out of a deep sleep in the middle of the night. You have to allow strangers to randomly stop by anywhere you are supposed to be to ensure you are there.

I am doing pretty well on home confinement. I really have no complaints. Due to my health, I've had a lot of practice spending long periods of time at home. I'm also lucky to always have the great companionship of Superdog, who still rarely leaves my side. Having a pet at home can make home confinement much more bearable.

I have just over two more weeks until I'm officially at my "out date" and supervision starts. I'm hoping the last year has helped me slow down enough, that I don't try doing everything my freedom gives me at once. Supervision will come with its own set of challenges that I imagine I will face. Even so, this home confinement options seems like a good option for so many people. With the prisons overcrowded with too many non-violent offenders, a home confinement sentence in lieu of prison should be considered a much more viable option and better for community as a whole!

From Dragonfly: Shiny Happy People...

How do you make about 20 inmates excited, cheering, high 5ing, hugging, and crying tears of joy all at the same time? This is not intended as a joke... you inform them that the U.S. Sentencing Commission unanimously passed the new sentencing guidelines to take non-violent drug mandatory minimums down two points. This is what I announced yesterday evening, and that was the response of almost everyone around me.

The mandatory minimums for drug crimes have overfilled our prisons with sentences of five, ten, twenty, and even lifetime sentences. People who have never held a gun, never hit another person, are behind bars (and away from their children) for decades. Many people with drug-related crimes can receive sentences higher than murderers, sex offenders, or other violent crimes. This has been going on for many, many years. In my experience in this prison, nearly half the people I meet here are for a drug-related (conspiracy) charge.

When I announced that the new law passed (Congress could still act on it, but it is not expected) and will go into effect in November, with retro-activity, nearly everyone near me was here under one of those mandatory minimums. The amount of time off their sentences varies greatly, but generally they are looking at years off their original sentence. Some will be eligible for release the minute the law goes into effect, others will still have some time to serve, but the end is much closer. One inmate, standing near me, said, "That means I have only 14 months left... seven months once the law goes into effect. After six years of being here, I will go home next year!" She looked a little in shock and everyone around her gave her a high-five.

Another inmate announced that she will be eligible for immediate release. She received hugs. The thing is, I'm not quite sure there will be any "immediate releases." Imagine the paperwork that will need to be completed by every federal prison in the U.S. for each of the inmates who will be eligible for the reduction. Even if the computer system automatically reduces everyone's sentence, the case managers will need to prepare for each person's release - halfway house, home confinement, or straight home. Each inmate will have to go through all those hoops (especially in a medical facility like this one), to ensure they are medically able to leave. As of right now, no processes, no regulations, are yet written on this tremendous news. People will still need to have patience to see what will happen and the timing of everything.

It's easy for me to just write all that, the law does not affect me. I am a fraud case, a sentencing topic that the commission is also considering a 2-point reduction on, but has not taken action yet. Also, I will already be home when this law goes into affect. For others, this law will allow them to move forward in their lives, hold and hug their babies, and live without a fence blocking them from the rest of the world sooner than they imagine. I was very happy that I was the person who was able to deliver the news. I usually don't just make announcements, but this was news I was not going to keep to myself.

Getting Past Our Anger

When I was first accused of embezzlement at my former employer's business I was angry. The stories that were being told about me were not the truth. Since I was never "asked questions," the people in my life put together their own realities of what they believe must have been true. In most cases, their stories do not even come close to the truth. Lawyers told me that I should not go public with my story as the proper advice to any potential criminal defendant is to stay silent, so I did. My truth never fully being able to be told.

A couple weeks ago, at my sentencing, I listened to some of my former mentors and friends speak their "personal truths" to the judge. I realized at that moment that these made up stories are the stories they must tell themselves to protect themselves. For them, it just would not make sense a woman they loved and trusted to do something this bad. If I had such a bad addiction, wouldn't they know it? But they did, they just didn't know what the signs were. Most people don't. So, in reality, these made up false stories are just as real to the people we hurt or to the court as the truth is for us. There is no way to prove absolute truth when witnesses are involved. 

Anyway, earlier today, a woman reached out to me and seemed angry about the prison time she is looking at and was telling me about her crime and the reasons for it. This was my response:

"As for the crime and punishment, I am going to propose something that may be nearly impossible to do. Acceptance. A while ago I had to realize that in order for me to move forward with my life, I had to let go of the fact that no one would ever believe or fully understand my Truth versus the story the prosecutor was telling. I was found guilty of 30% truth and 70% made up stories that people thought were true. But since 30% was true, it really didn't matter that the rest was false. For me, I needed money and I had my employers debit card - enough said. It really does not matter why I thought it was legitimate to withdraw the money because the act itself was illegal. If you can come to acceptance about your "act" being illegal regardless of the reasons behind why you did it, the peace will help you get through this. Carrying the anger can't be helping you as you face something as scary as we are."

Sometimes, I am able to see the growth my recovery program has given me. Acceptance is certainly one of them.