It's flu season and some inmates have been found to have the flu. They did offer everyone a flu vaccination in the fall, but some refused it. Actually, I am one of the refusals, because my medication doesn't allow me to take "live vaccinations" and no one could tell me if the vaccine was live or not. So, I have to be really careful, because I'm immuno-compromised. Getting any kind of illness (cold, flu, etc.) can lead to a much more serious condition in anyone immuno-compromised.
Carswell takes flu season very seriously. Just the other day, I saw a bulletin with the influenza policy (warning for all inmates). If an inmate is found to have the flu, they are put into confinement until the time that their symptoms end. Their roommates are also separated from general population, however, if after three days they don't have symptoms, they can go back to their rooms. An outbreak at this prison, because so many inmates have fragile health conditions, would not be good.
I heard through inmate.com (so, take with a grain of salt) that 9 inmates are currently being confined due to influenza. I don't know any of them, if it is true. I pray that I don't come into contact with anyone that does get the flu. Living in such close quarters, it is impossible to keep proper distance from others in order to maintain a healthy boundary from those sick.
Lately, a lot of people have been getting colds. It includes the loss of voice, a cough, sneezing, etc. I fear that I may be at the start of this cold, but I'm trying to be proactive. I, unfortunately, can already feel it moving to my bronchi, which is a well-established part of my health history. I have always struggled with bronchitis, whenever I get sick. My mother would tell me to go get an inhaler and some good cough syrup, but that's not how things work here. If I do get sick, I have to have the full symptoms, go to sick call, and then get the prescriptions. Next week would be the earliest I could go. We'll see what the weekend brings. I will get lots of rest, drink plenty of vitamin c, and take care of myself. I'm even allowing Nurse to give me a "hotty totty" which she says is tea with honey, lemon, and a throat lozenge. Okay, sounds odd to me, but can't hurt.
Maybe, by Monday, this will have passed, and I will be feeling much better. That's the goal! If I can divert this cold, let's hope I can also divert the flu.
Saturday, January 4, 2014
Thursday, January 2, 2014
From Dragonfly: Attention Inmates
At first, I thought it was interesting. Then, I started to get annoyed. Now, I want to throw stones at the megaphone that emits prison-wide announcements:
"Attention inmates: Male and Female staff routinely work in and visit inmate housing areas."
That is the announcement. It plays every morning around 6am, every evening around 4:45pm, and every night around 10pm. Sometimes, it also plays around 11am. Some inmates haven't looked at their watches or the clock to know that there is a method to the madness. They think that someone just presses a button every so often, and the announcement plays.
Given that it is a "live voice" (sometimes male, sometimes female) with errors sometimes in the reading of the message, I know that it is not a recording.
I believe the timing of the message is not by accident. I have deducted that they do the message at the time the count is "cleared." Our counts are at 5am, sometimes 10am, 4pm, and 9:30pm. They take 30-60 minutes to get through all the housing units, ensure everyone is where they are supposed to be, and then, clear the count. During morning, afternoon, and evening, that also means that the chow hall will soon be open for business and those inmates requiring insulin should be released to pill line for their insulin intake. Of course, the CO's do not use the announcement as the gauge, though, they wait for the next announcement that says to release insulin line inmates.
So, why that message? Why not a different message? I believe that this announcement must be the result of some dispute between an inmate and the institution. It's not DOP wide (several inmates, who transferred here, say that the announcement was not made in their old institutions. It's content is obvious. I mean there are male and female Correctional Officers, so of course male and female staff work in and visit our housing areas. Perhaps a female inmate complained that male staff were in the unit. I don't know. I have no idea when the announcements started. I am only guessing at the reasons for the announcement.
What I do know, is that it is LOUD and wakes me up, those few times I am able to sleep past 6am. It also wakes me at 10pm, if I am lucky enough to have fallen asleep soon enough after 9:30pm count. It doesn't help that the announcement megaphone is hung up about 10 feet from the opening to my room. When I was in the bus stop, I could barely hear it (it was the top floor, all the way across the unit, from where I am now). But, instead, it is said, and, now, I am in the habit of saying it right along with the announcer. Every time it occurs, I hear someone say something like, "no sh*t," or something else dramatic and sarcastic.
Sometimes, things are not always logical here. But, things happen because it is just what it is. There is an announcement 3-4 times a day that tells me something obvious. It is not something anyone really pays much attention to. It just is.
"Attention inmates: Male and Female staff routinely work in and visit inmate housing areas."
That is the announcement. It plays every morning around 6am, every evening around 4:45pm, and every night around 10pm. Sometimes, it also plays around 11am. Some inmates haven't looked at their watches or the clock to know that there is a method to the madness. They think that someone just presses a button every so often, and the announcement plays.
Given that it is a "live voice" (sometimes male, sometimes female) with errors sometimes in the reading of the message, I know that it is not a recording.
I believe the timing of the message is not by accident. I have deducted that they do the message at the time the count is "cleared." Our counts are at 5am, sometimes 10am, 4pm, and 9:30pm. They take 30-60 minutes to get through all the housing units, ensure everyone is where they are supposed to be, and then, clear the count. During morning, afternoon, and evening, that also means that the chow hall will soon be open for business and those inmates requiring insulin should be released to pill line for their insulin intake. Of course, the CO's do not use the announcement as the gauge, though, they wait for the next announcement that says to release insulin line inmates.
So, why that message? Why not a different message? I believe that this announcement must be the result of some dispute between an inmate and the institution. It's not DOP wide (several inmates, who transferred here, say that the announcement was not made in their old institutions. It's content is obvious. I mean there are male and female Correctional Officers, so of course male and female staff work in and visit our housing areas. Perhaps a female inmate complained that male staff were in the unit. I don't know. I have no idea when the announcements started. I am only guessing at the reasons for the announcement.
What I do know, is that it is LOUD and wakes me up, those few times I am able to sleep past 6am. It also wakes me at 10pm, if I am lucky enough to have fallen asleep soon enough after 9:30pm count. It doesn't help that the announcement megaphone is hung up about 10 feet from the opening to my room. When I was in the bus stop, I could barely hear it (it was the top floor, all the way across the unit, from where I am now). But, instead, it is said, and, now, I am in the habit of saying it right along with the announcer. Every time it occurs, I hear someone say something like, "no sh*t," or something else dramatic and sarcastic.
Sometimes, things are not always logical here. But, things happen because it is just what it is. There is an announcement 3-4 times a day that tells me something obvious. It is not something anyone really pays much attention to. It just is.
Wednesday, January 1, 2014
From Dragonfly: Some New Year's Joy
Joy, my friend from back home, came to visit me today. She had quite the story of getting in. She arrived, I think, around 7am. Surprisingly, she was only the 6th car waiting. Usually, by 7, you would be the 20th or even further back in line. I was called to the visitation room around 9:30am, so it took her about 1 1/2 hours, after they opened the gates at 8, to be brought in to see me. I suppose she would have been in earlier, but she had a bit of a mishap getting past security. See, Joy wore an under-wire bra here today. I'd warned everyone, that I heard the machine catches under-wire bras, but, for some reason, Joy forgot. So, she was sent to the bathroom to try and remove the wire from her bra. This was one heck of a well made bra, as she could not get the wire out, not even after she borrowed scissors from the officer. So, the lieutenant was called. They absolutely could have told Joy that she would not be able to visit with me. It is a requirement that women have their bras on. However, the lieutenant said that she would not send Joy out without a visit (like had been done to a different person I know recently), instead, they allowed Joy to visit without her bra on, as long as she kept her jacket on the entire visit. She did just that. Good thing she wore a light fleece jacket, and not her winter coat!!! So, remember - NO UNDER-WIRE BRAS!
I was surprised to see only four inmates with visitors at visitation all morning. Usually there are dozens. I guess since the holiday is not on a weekend, and it's a special day for visitation, many people didn't come. I thought it would be packed, but it wasn't. By early afternoon, perhaps 12 inmates had visitors. It was so nice to not have any other inmates or their visitors right next or across from us. We were able to talk at normal levels and still hear one another.
Joy is such a strong, wonderful friend. She drove 3 1/2 hours down from Oklahoma City, where she is staying with friends for a couple days. She says the drive was worth it. That's a great friend!!! We didn't run out of things to talk about. It was nice to have a friend from school here, who I could talk a little to about what has happened with that. I still have not heard back from my appeal. I explained to Joy how I have some ideas on next steps, depending on what happens. I don't worry about it, as right now, my only energy is used to get through day to day. All I would do is add anxiety to myself if I worried about an unknown future. Things will happen however they are supposed to happen, and I know that I will be okay.
I spent a total of 4 1/2 hours with Joy. We hugged goodbye at about 2 pm. I was able to avoid a long line for the strip search by doing that, and only had one other inmate with me in the room for the search, bend, spread, and cough. By 2:30, everyone will be forced to leave visitation. They say that visitation is from 8am-3pm, but that includes all the time visitors have to spend waiting to get in, get processed in/out, and get out.
I know that I am really quite fortunate to have had so many visitors. I also have so many friends who write, email, and send me books and stuff. They all bring me a little joy from home... and today, my friend Joy, added to it. Thank you Joy and thank you everyone who helps me through this time away.
I was surprised to see only four inmates with visitors at visitation all morning. Usually there are dozens. I guess since the holiday is not on a weekend, and it's a special day for visitation, many people didn't come. I thought it would be packed, but it wasn't. By early afternoon, perhaps 12 inmates had visitors. It was so nice to not have any other inmates or their visitors right next or across from us. We were able to talk at normal levels and still hear one another.
Joy is such a strong, wonderful friend. She drove 3 1/2 hours down from Oklahoma City, where she is staying with friends for a couple days. She says the drive was worth it. That's a great friend!!! We didn't run out of things to talk about. It was nice to have a friend from school here, who I could talk a little to about what has happened with that. I still have not heard back from my appeal. I explained to Joy how I have some ideas on next steps, depending on what happens. I don't worry about it, as right now, my only energy is used to get through day to day. All I would do is add anxiety to myself if I worried about an unknown future. Things will happen however they are supposed to happen, and I know that I will be okay.
I spent a total of 4 1/2 hours with Joy. We hugged goodbye at about 2 pm. I was able to avoid a long line for the strip search by doing that, and only had one other inmate with me in the room for the search, bend, spread, and cough. By 2:30, everyone will be forced to leave visitation. They say that visitation is from 8am-3pm, but that includes all the time visitors have to spend waiting to get in, get processed in/out, and get out.
I know that I am really quite fortunate to have had so many visitors. I also have so many friends who write, email, and send me books and stuff. They all bring me a little joy from home... and today, my friend Joy, added to it. Thank you Joy and thank you everyone who helps me through this time away.
From Dragonfly: Happy New Year
It's finally 2014, and I'm not sure anyone counts down years the way we do in prison. For me, 2014 will be the year I go home. With those who are here for a long time, a new year counts as a year closer to going home. That's what we all think, all the time; "When am I going home?"
Anyway, I haven't been top shape lately, so my new year's eve was nothing great. I did go to eat kielbasa sausage in the chow hall (no special dinner last night) with Lola, South, and Appeal. I don't think any of us finished the food --- which is typical. They are planning on having "steak and shrimp" for dinner tonight. It's the only time of year that we will get either of these items. I'm sure it's flank steak, and there won't be any A-1 sauce, but it's steak!!!! I hear the shrimp is popcorn shrimp and on a skewer. Whatever it is, I will try it with an open mind.
I guess they let everyone in the unit stay up really late last night --- hours past the 11:30pm bedtime that is usual. I wouldn't know, because I slept through it. I slept starting at 8pm, got up for 9:30 count, and went back to bed by 10pm. I slept through a ton of screaming at midnight (I did have my ear plugs in, but they aren't usually that good), and when I first woke at 2:30am, everyone was in their rooms. It was as if a huge party had not occurred the night before, because I was totally unaware of it!
I usually like to celebrate New Years with friends. We may just play games, see a movie, attend a small party, but it doesn't need to be anything special. It's special just because of who I am with. I guess that's true for last night, too. I am so grateful to have the friends I've made while in Carswell. We all need people to lean on, who can fully understand our situation. Those who imagine keeping to themselves the entire time in prison, will be sadder and lonely. The key is to find people who have positive energy and share the same with them. That's what we all need, a little laughter, some positive thoughts, and someone to talk with through the realities of this experience.
I hope I never forget what it's like to be in prison. I want to ensure I don't leave anyone behind when I walk out the doors. People like Freckles, Lola, and Appeal will be here for another couple years. I need to send them cards and letters. I know how important mail call is. For me, I will forever be connected to the realities of imprisonment. I will choose to live in the day, but I will not forget. I guess that's my New Years resolution.
Anyway, I haven't been top shape lately, so my new year's eve was nothing great. I did go to eat kielbasa sausage in the chow hall (no special dinner last night) with Lola, South, and Appeal. I don't think any of us finished the food --- which is typical. They are planning on having "steak and shrimp" for dinner tonight. It's the only time of year that we will get either of these items. I'm sure it's flank steak, and there won't be any A-1 sauce, but it's steak!!!! I hear the shrimp is popcorn shrimp and on a skewer. Whatever it is, I will try it with an open mind.
I guess they let everyone in the unit stay up really late last night --- hours past the 11:30pm bedtime that is usual. I wouldn't know, because I slept through it. I slept starting at 8pm, got up for 9:30 count, and went back to bed by 10pm. I slept through a ton of screaming at midnight (I did have my ear plugs in, but they aren't usually that good), and when I first woke at 2:30am, everyone was in their rooms. It was as if a huge party had not occurred the night before, because I was totally unaware of it!
I usually like to celebrate New Years with friends. We may just play games, see a movie, attend a small party, but it doesn't need to be anything special. It's special just because of who I am with. I guess that's true for last night, too. I am so grateful to have the friends I've made while in Carswell. We all need people to lean on, who can fully understand our situation. Those who imagine keeping to themselves the entire time in prison, will be sadder and lonely. The key is to find people who have positive energy and share the same with them. That's what we all need, a little laughter, some positive thoughts, and someone to talk with through the realities of this experience.
I hope I never forget what it's like to be in prison. I want to ensure I don't leave anyone behind when I walk out the doors. People like Freckles, Lola, and Appeal will be here for another couple years. I need to send them cards and letters. I know how important mail call is. For me, I will forever be connected to the realities of imprisonment. I will choose to live in the day, but I will not forget. I guess that's my New Years resolution.
Tuesday, December 31, 2013
From Dragonfly: Happy Birthday South
On Sunday, South advanced a year and I had only learned that her birthday was coming up 3 days prior. She was being very secretive. So, the minute I knew, I had to get into organizer mode. We had to ensure South had a great birthday. I talked with Appeal, Mama, Lola, and others, and we planned out a menu. Then, I started working on making a crochet bookmark, with ribbon, for a gift. Thankfully, Lola and I had all the supplies necessary. No one could go to commissary last week (it was closed), so we couldn't purchase any needs. The hardest part was the cake... I required puddings, lemon juice, creme cheese, chocolate cookies, candy, and a whole creamer. Working together, we were all able to get the ingredients (sometimes promising our next born in return - ha). Plus, we needed someone who was a talented cheese cake maker - that is my co-worker, Style. Style achieves such success with cheesecakes here, that I've tasted nothing that comes even close to it. We scheduled meeting Freckles outside (so we could all eat together) at 1pm. So, everything was set up... we just had to wait for Sunday.
I started Sunday by hanging some paper balloons outside South's room. The balloons also had her name on them. She started getting "happy birthdays" immediately. Next, Lola and Mama did their best to take the birthday card we made around the entire unit to get all those who love South to sign it. There wasn't a bit of space left after everyone signed. Doing all this without South seeing, was the hardest part! Then, we started cooking our meal: ham, cheesy rice, and cheese wraps; macaroni and cheese; pretzels; and the cheesecake (which was already sitting on ice in Style's Unit). She handed it over to us around noon, and we used a large bucket to place it back on ice. No refrigerator means we HAVE to improvise.
It was FREEZING outside, so joining up with Freckles became impossible, but we did meet her outside and she gave South a huge hug and got some wraps and cheesecake. She started eating the cheesecake first - wouldn't we all!?!?! Well, actually, we ate the wraps first. It was the first time we made the ham wraps. As Lola puts it, "all the food here tastes the same." It really doesn't matter if we are making ham, chicken, or using any other available protein, they are all mixed the same way, with the same available condiments, and they do all taste the same.
Once lunch was over, we gave South her card and bookmark. She was overwhelmed. When we also served the cheesecake, she admitted to us that she never has a special birthday cake - in fact, it was only her second birthday cake that she knows of. Since her birthday is so close to Christmas, she always had to celebrate her birthday with family during Christmas. I know her well enough to know that she'd be the first person to say, "no, I don't need a special party...". She's just that way. So, our little gathering, card, and cake put tears in her eyes. She couldn't believe how many people signed her card. She LOVED the cake, which we finished up that night after dinner. She kept the card and the balloons from the wall outside her room, and put them in her items to bring home. From what I could tell, she had a good birthday - despite where we are.
Speaking of birthdays, yesterday was my mom's birthday. I tried calling her a couple times, when the phones were available, but she was probably out with my step-dad and her friends. It is likely the first birthday I've not reached her, ever. That's the thing about prison, sometimes, we can't talk to our loved ones when we want to. I know I will reach her soon, plus I did talk to her on Sunday, so that is something. But, missing family members' birthdays is definitely one of the hard things about being incarcerated.
I'm just going to close this by wishing you a Happy New Years. It does not feel like a holiday today, but tomorrow, I will have the wonderful joy of having a good friend visit. What a great way to start off a new year!!!!
I started Sunday by hanging some paper balloons outside South's room. The balloons also had her name on them. She started getting "happy birthdays" immediately. Next, Lola and Mama did their best to take the birthday card we made around the entire unit to get all those who love South to sign it. There wasn't a bit of space left after everyone signed. Doing all this without South seeing, was the hardest part! Then, we started cooking our meal: ham, cheesy rice, and cheese wraps; macaroni and cheese; pretzels; and the cheesecake (which was already sitting on ice in Style's Unit). She handed it over to us around noon, and we used a large bucket to place it back on ice. No refrigerator means we HAVE to improvise.
It was FREEZING outside, so joining up with Freckles became impossible, but we did meet her outside and she gave South a huge hug and got some wraps and cheesecake. She started eating the cheesecake first - wouldn't we all!?!?! Well, actually, we ate the wraps first. It was the first time we made the ham wraps. As Lola puts it, "all the food here tastes the same." It really doesn't matter if we are making ham, chicken, or using any other available protein, they are all mixed the same way, with the same available condiments, and they do all taste the same.
Once lunch was over, we gave South her card and bookmark. She was overwhelmed. When we also served the cheesecake, she admitted to us that she never has a special birthday cake - in fact, it was only her second birthday cake that she knows of. Since her birthday is so close to Christmas, she always had to celebrate her birthday with family during Christmas. I know her well enough to know that she'd be the first person to say, "no, I don't need a special party...". She's just that way. So, our little gathering, card, and cake put tears in her eyes. She couldn't believe how many people signed her card. She LOVED the cake, which we finished up that night after dinner. She kept the card and the balloons from the wall outside her room, and put them in her items to bring home. From what I could tell, she had a good birthday - despite where we are.
Speaking of birthdays, yesterday was my mom's birthday. I tried calling her a couple times, when the phones were available, but she was probably out with my step-dad and her friends. It is likely the first birthday I've not reached her, ever. That's the thing about prison, sometimes, we can't talk to our loved ones when we want to. I know I will reach her soon, plus I did talk to her on Sunday, so that is something. But, missing family members' birthdays is definitely one of the hard things about being incarcerated.
I'm just going to close this by wishing you a Happy New Years. It does not feel like a holiday today, but tomorrow, I will have the wonderful joy of having a good friend visit. What a great way to start off a new year!!!!
Sunday, December 29, 2013
From Dragonfly: The Compound Cat
The first day I saw the "cat" was on a warmish day about a month and a half ago. The "cat" was hanging around the open compound, where there are many benches set up and inmates sit, talk, relax, and take in a little vitamin D. Later that evening, I saw several inmates "feeding" the "cat" with bread, or anything they could. They were up next to the "cat" and so excited that a fluffy animal had found it's way to the Carswell compound.
A week later, I saw several people up by a street sewer opening. The kind that's on the side of the road and is open. The "cat" was living down there and several people were leaving scraps of food, such as oranges and apples. The head of the "cat" was sticking out and happily taking the food. It's "paw" was even reaching into people's hand, as they fed him/her. This feeding of the "cat" near the sewer has become a daily activity for some.
One day, Freckles and I were walking into the main building from the compound, and the open sewer is on our way there. Suddenly, Freckles jumped and screamed of fear. The "cat" had stuck it's head out just as we passed, and since Freckles lives in the main building, she did not know of the "cat" and it's "friendliness." It was a funny moment, except that Freckles almost had a heart attack from the freight!
The "cat" remains a Carswell pet. There are times when it comes out of the sewer and walks around, several inmates will follow it and try to interact with it. It has eaten out of people's hands several times. The C.O.'s don't seem to mind, I think because they realize how absolutely insane it is that people are playing with the wild "cat."
See, the "cat" is actually a raccoon. It is a young raccoon, based on size, but a raccoon is a raccoon. It is a wild animal that these inmates think they can domesticate. I sure as heck would NOT choose to get close to the raccoon. They are known to carry rabies and be quite violent if they feel threatened. The C.O.'s just laugh at inmates getting too close to the raccoon. Kind of like, "really?!?!?"
I have to admit, it is cute to look at when it is in the sewer and just sticking it's little nose out. Although, seeing the eyes in the dark is a bit scary. It does depend, now, on the mounds of food fed to it by some inmates. I just fret the day it realizes it's power...
The "cat" is not our only pet. There are inmates that interact daily with the pigeons, that leave their feces outside our unit doors all day, every day. There are inmates who feed them and try to call them over through a weird whistle or something. They also like to feed and interact with the squirrels.
Truth is, there are people here, who have been locked up a LONG time! I know people who have been in prison for 20-30 years. Seeing an animal of any type, other than on the television, is very rare. They can't easily wander on to the compound with all the barbed wire and fencing. The only live things we see frequently, other that humans, are insects (gnats, flies, beetles, and especially roaches --- ew!!!). I heard that there once was an inmate who tried to keep a mouse as a pet once. I hear she was successful for quite a while.
So, for now, "catcoon," the raccoon (this was my name for the raccoon, I have no idea if the raccoon has been given a name by others), is the compound pet. I just pray it's cute, friendly, and docile attitude doesn't take a turn for the worse.
A week later, I saw several people up by a street sewer opening. The kind that's on the side of the road and is open. The "cat" was living down there and several people were leaving scraps of food, such as oranges and apples. The head of the "cat" was sticking out and happily taking the food. It's "paw" was even reaching into people's hand, as they fed him/her. This feeding of the "cat" near the sewer has become a daily activity for some.
One day, Freckles and I were walking into the main building from the compound, and the open sewer is on our way there. Suddenly, Freckles jumped and screamed of fear. The "cat" had stuck it's head out just as we passed, and since Freckles lives in the main building, she did not know of the "cat" and it's "friendliness." It was a funny moment, except that Freckles almost had a heart attack from the freight!
The "cat" remains a Carswell pet. There are times when it comes out of the sewer and walks around, several inmates will follow it and try to interact with it. It has eaten out of people's hands several times. The C.O.'s don't seem to mind, I think because they realize how absolutely insane it is that people are playing with the wild "cat."
See, the "cat" is actually a raccoon. It is a young raccoon, based on size, but a raccoon is a raccoon. It is a wild animal that these inmates think they can domesticate. I sure as heck would NOT choose to get close to the raccoon. They are known to carry rabies and be quite violent if they feel threatened. The C.O.'s just laugh at inmates getting too close to the raccoon. Kind of like, "really?!?!?"
I have to admit, it is cute to look at when it is in the sewer and just sticking it's little nose out. Although, seeing the eyes in the dark is a bit scary. It does depend, now, on the mounds of food fed to it by some inmates. I just fret the day it realizes it's power...
The "cat" is not our only pet. There are inmates that interact daily with the pigeons, that leave their feces outside our unit doors all day, every day. There are inmates who feed them and try to call them over through a weird whistle or something. They also like to feed and interact with the squirrels.
Truth is, there are people here, who have been locked up a LONG time! I know people who have been in prison for 20-30 years. Seeing an animal of any type, other than on the television, is very rare. They can't easily wander on to the compound with all the barbed wire and fencing. The only live things we see frequently, other that humans, are insects (gnats, flies, beetles, and especially roaches --- ew!!!). I heard that there once was an inmate who tried to keep a mouse as a pet once. I hear she was successful for quite a while.
So, for now, "catcoon," the raccoon (this was my name for the raccoon, I have no idea if the raccoon has been given a name by others), is the compound pet. I just pray it's cute, friendly, and docile attitude doesn't take a turn for the worse.
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