It doesn't matter how many times I write about the positive, there are still some times where this place will bring me down. This week has been an emotional roller coaster for me. It actually made me think about the last episode of the first season of "Orange is the New Black," where everything is pulling Piper down and she pretty much loses it at the end. Only I don't act "out," I always act "in." Last night all I felt like doing was curling up into a ball on my bed and never doing another thing here until I go home. That's the old emotional "broken" thoughts I used to have before recovery.
Luckily, if I go there in my mind, the serenity prayer, daily readings I have, and my friends bring me right back to the survivor I am. We are so much stronger than we give ourselves credit for. Life is going to try to take us down on life's terms, but we have to learn to survive life on life's terms. WE are not in control of everything, or anybody. The rules are not always fair, the situations not always thrivable, but there's always tomorrow. Tomorrow, anything can happen. In fact, in five minutes anything can happen. We just have to be strong enough to wait out those five minutes or until tomorrow. Look back on your life and realize that you've been hurt before, gossiped about before, neglected before, hated before, unloved before, unemployed before, etc... but each time, time allowed you to life yourself back up. You will once again. You just have to wait it out. You just have to believe.
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