From Dragonfly: Staff

I don't write much about the staff at Carswell, well, because each one is so unique. But, I will write some general observations. First, the jobs that have high interaction with inmates (such as C.O., clinic reception, counselor, case worker, etc.) has to be a tough job. So, often, you have to deliver news the inmate does not want to hear, and so many inmates do not have good control of their emotions. Yes, the staff puts on a tough exterior, but they are just like the rest of us - going to work to make a living to care for their family. In fact, I truly believe that many of them go into this line of work with the hope that they may influence inmates in a positive manner.

But, if I had a job, where people can become violent, where some people turn to incredible anger before thinking through their actions, where there is overcrowding and little space for oneself, I think I would act "hard" like the rest of them do. If you look "soft" in the job, people will try to overtake your authority. Even though most of us are not bad people, or violent people, the fact that any of us may be, has to be on the tip of their minds at all times. It's a tough job and not one I could do well. I respect them, even if I don't respect all their actions.

The truth is, no one here works for themselves. They are part of a huge bureaucracy of the Department of Prisons, and they are given stringent rules to follow. At the same time, one on one, almost any staff member shows a softer side to themselves. In fact, recently, a doctor resigned because he could no longer handle the limitations of what he could medically do here. Is the goal in medicine to keep people alive, or to help them get well? He wanted to help people, but was limited by the restraints on his job. A new doctor, a woman, who seems very nice, has picked up his caseload (she will be my new doctor). I hope she cares as much about her patients and sees us as patients, not just inmates.

I've seen C.O.'s cry when they are being appreciated. I have seen their happiness when they are commended for a job well done by their superiors. The best C.O.'s and staff seem to be the ones that follow the rules and, also, do not play favorites among the inmates. C.O.'s and staff who do appear to have favorites, tend to be the ones that are "gossiped" about the most. They are the ones where people "make up" stories of them having affairs with inmates and/or violating some rule. I'm not saying that a staff member never crosses the line, but from my experience, I see people who are more concerned about doing a job well and getting home to their families, than wanting anything "special" from an inmate. A staff member who does cross the line with an inmate, risks imprisonment themselves. I just know that, at least most, would never consider crossing that line. (A small minority of inmates, on the other hand, may be open to the advances of staff, but that's a one-way relationship). Consider my earlier writings about the fact that many people here could really use some help on "healthy relationships" and "boundaries."

Whenever a staff member is on vacation, or gone for whatever reason, for a week or longer, the rumors usually start. I'll hear: "they are under investigation," "they were having an affair," "they quit," etc. When, in fact, they had been in Hawaii for two weeks with their family enjoying the sun, or helping a sibling move, or dealing with the death of a loved one. Just because we are not given the reasons for staff being absent, does not mean that they are absent for a bad reason. But, inmate.com is a vicious gossip reality, leading one person's made up story, the talk of all the women here. Suddenly, so many people are saying the same thing, even saying they heard it from a staff member (did they really?!?!?), that we all start to believe the gossip. What I've learned to do is to believe nothing fully, until it is told directly to me by a staff member. Seems to be good policy.

It may seem I am defending the people who work here. I am not going to claim that everyone does the right thing all the time. I'm just saying, it is a tough place to work. Some inmates say that they don't care if they are tough on the staff, as the staff "go home at the end of the day," whereas the inmates do not. However, it is not the staff's fault that we are each incarcerated. They were not at our trials. They did not choose for us to be here. I'm sure they'd prefer the place to be much less populated. It is their job. For better or worse, it is what allows them to feed and clothe their children. It gives them necessary health insurance and other benefits. It allows them to take vacations and retire at a decent age. Yes, they do go home at the end of each day, although for many shifts, that home is at midnight or 8am (I could never work a midnight shift!). I imagine it takes them their entire drive home to clear their head of everything they experienced during their shift - from slurs, to breaking up fights - to laughter - to crying inmates - to non-stop questions - to having to give bad news...

Finally, I must admit, some of the staff are just plain "A**Holes." It's true. There are staff who like to hear themselves talk, a lot, but refuse to listen. There are staff who treat us all like the dirt on the bottom of sewers. There are those who love to scream into the loud speaker and treat us all as if we are in kindergarten. There are staff that just have no respect at all for themselves or their colleagues. Sure, there is some scum here, but that is not what I think makes up the majority of staff. The rules they must "obey" may seem even ridiculous to them. In fact, I've heard two staff members say that they "HATE SNITCHES." They do not want to know that someone is doing something wrong. They want us to be able to work things out like adults. Snitches are usually the ones doing the worst stuff on campus. Or, at least that's what they think.

What I think, is that there is good staff and not so good staff. There are staff members that should retire, and others that should be commended for a job well done. There are people who will treat inmates with respect, and those who won't. The bad ones give the rest a bad rap, but as long as the inmates are doing what they should be doing, most of the staff will leave them alone. Live and let live. One day, hopefully, we will all be going home to our families.