From Dragonfly: Olympics

Every now and then, a television in the atrium will show the Olympics. I watch in awe as huge sleds speed down a track, people jump 100 feet in the air on skis (and do twists on top of that), snowboarders do tricks I've never seen before, and skaters land back on their feet after jumping and twisting in the air. These are all things I could never do. They not only have talent, but these athletes have a dedication to their craft that demands health of mind and body. If your head isn't totally in, your body will not do what you need it to do. If your body is not totally in, your head may not be able to overcome the pain. Although, last night, I saw a man driving the USA 1 bobsled overcome great pain in his calf to win a medal in the 2-man sled for the first time in over 60 years. I'm sure he's limping around Sochi today - proudly wearing the bronze around his neck. We can always overcome obstacles if our will is strong enough.

Life also has many obstacles. There are those that are put before us and those we build ourselves. So often, we are our own worst enemies. We believe bad will happen, so we do what we "think" will overcome the bad, only to cause that bad thing to happen. The number one way we do this is through lies. I am not immune from this by any means. When in the reality of my addiction, lying just came with the compulsion. In order to keep destroying myself, I had to lie to everyone around me, strangers, and especially myself. Today, I do my best to live in honesty. Sometimes the old me comes out, and I tell a white lie to protect myself or someone, but then it just weighs heavy on me and, practicing the final steps of my program, "when wrong, promptly admit it," I will apologize and say that I have no idea why I just said what I did, but here's the truth. It is always better to face your fears, than to not take the chance on the truth.

Recently, I've heard of a number of "lies" that people here told on the outside to try and "protect" themselves. For example, a woman I know did not tell her ex-husband that she was going to prison. She feared that he would try to gain custody of her children. After almost 6 months of maintaining the lie, her ex-husband found out, is furious with her not telling him, and now may go after custody. Had my friend been honest from the beginning, the best interest of the children would have probably led them to live with their grandparents, as the father has many issues of his own, and everything may have worked out. But, now, the dishonesty may lead to my friend's fear of losing custody.

Another "lie" I've recently heard about is a different person who claimed to have education that she does not have. The DOP did a little background check and now she is known to be a liar. I'm not sure why this inmate felt the need to lie, but it caught up with her and she did not get the job she was trying to get. Had she been honest, her intelligence may have been enough to get her the job.

To be honest actually takes a lot of dedication - not unlike the dedication of the Olympians we watch on television. We need to breath deeply and believe that we can face our fears and still land on our feet. "We are only as sick as our lies," is a common statement in 12-step programs. There's a lot more to gain through honesty, than what we can lose through our lies and tales.

I'm going to enjoy watching the rest of the week of the Olympics, when someone is kind enough to turn it on. Had these athletes lied to their parents, their coaches, themselves, or others, likely they would not be where they are today. It's hard work to be your best person, and we don't get medals for being good, but life will give us many opportunities we never imagined, when we live in honesty.