From Dragonfly: Yelling

I'm not sure why, but some staff (not all) find it so much easier to scream at us, than just talk to us. It is certainly a belittling technique - especially when the person is in the position of power. It is difficult for me to accept yelling as a way of communication. One staff member, here, does a great job of yelling things like "4pm count," but being softer at other times. In fact, when we lost another inmate a week ago, totally unexpected, she held a town hall. Although her voice was raised so we could all hear her (we were surrounding her in the atrium and she stood on a table), she gave words of grief and caring to us all. We lost a sister - someone who'd been here for years and was about to go home. She was close to many, but even those who didn't know her well, found tears in her eyes as this staff member spoke to us.

I heard many inmates say, "I respect that woman," referring to the staff member. I have only heard that about a couple people working here - the teacher that I respect and a couple other folks. It's too bad that most the staff doesn't try to earn our respect. It would only enhance our ability to listen to them and know that, even if we don't like what they are saying, they respect us enough to be kind when appropriate. We are not just inmates. We are women. We are human beings. Some treat us like we are animals, and I am not just exaggerating when I say that.

I have to say that the Warden is one of the people most inmates respect. I've never seen him yelling at anyone. He stands mainline nearly everyday, and will listen to inmate complaints/issues. He reads and responds to his emails. Sometimes he can't do what we want him to, but he's honest about that as well. He has beautified the campus. I, for one, respect him.

I'm not sure why staff don't get that if they are yelling at us, some inmates will see it as an opportunity to also communicate by yelling. There are verbal fights constantly in the unit and on the yard. There is backtalk to the officers. Not everyone hates confrontation, like I do; they fight back, they yell back. Yelling seems to be acceptable, as long as it is not during quiet hours. The only times I see people get in trouble for screaming is when it leads to a more serious fight or if it is right at an officer and includes something derogatory. They will get a "time-out" - perhaps 2-3 days in the SHU to calm down.

So, screaming is everywhere, between girlfriends, between enemies, between staff and inmates... When I say there's no quiet, there's also no time where someone is not yelling something at someone else. Being curious minded, it leads to my roommates and I constantly going to our door or in the hall to see what is going on. I've never been on a school-yard like you see in the movies, where two kids get into a fight and everyone gathers screaming, "fight, fight, fight," until a school teacher breaks it up. But that's kind of like what it's like here, only the crowd watches and says nothing. It is just all in a day's life in prison.

I wonder if there could be a calmer culture in prison. Perhaps the camps have it. Perhaps other institutions have it. I wouldn't know. I do know, though, that I can't wait to be away from all the yelling and screaming. No one listens when you are yelling at them. No one.