From Dragonfly: Better News

I'll start with my father - they believe the cancer is a spread of his bladder cancer from a year ago. I don't understand why they didn't do radiation or chemo after they took it out. If it spread to his brain, it's likely elsewhere in his body. He is going to start radiation and chemo asap and they will see what happens. His sister died from brain cancer - spread from elsewhere on her body - just two years ago. The similarities are not good.

T.S. is on her way to Belize for a service learning trip. At nineteen years old, a trip like this will truly help her understand important concepts - like globalization, real poverty, giving back/making a difference, communication across cultures, and more. I'm so excited for her. She is one amazing young woman and I am truly lucky to have her in my life!

No real new news on my leaving prison. I went and talked with the unit manager (supervisor to the case manager) yesterday. He didn't know of my situation, but heard me out... Since the paperwork was emailed on Friday, there is still a "chance" that I will be able to be released for May 28th. They say that they can process a release in three days if they have to... so I guess I have until the Friday prior - May 23rd - to receive word. Of course, that means I will be taking a couple day Greyhound Bus to home. Well, to halfway house, where I was told yesterday, I will spend up to 10 days. If I am going to a Halfway House anyway, why on earth was I denied halfway house????!???! It makes no sense. But then again, little here or in the BOP does.

Regardless of how much more time I am here, I am taking it all in a day at a time. I continue to receive a good amount of mail (thank you friends!) and that continues to help the days go by with a smile. I have everything to be grateful for in my life and I will not waste my energy wanting more. I'm leaving soon, so many here have years, or dozens of years, remaining. I couldn't imagine their struggles. I am so lucky not to have them. I'm a short-timer; not that any amount of time goes by quickly, but I can always see myself on the other side of the fence.

There are three things I plan to do immediately upon my release. The first is attend a G.A. Meeting. I miss the meetings more than anyone can imagine. Not being able to have that fellowship in here makes no sense. I'll never understand why they wouldn't allow me to start a meeting. So many can use it! Just the other day, I met a woman who is also a compulsive gambler. She was talking the "big shotism" of gambling - having never entered recovery for gambling. She is in a drug program, but is unable to focus on her gambling addiction. When she leaves here, where will that lead her???

The second thing I am going to do is see/call all my friends and family. The support I've received has been amazing and everyone will receive a personal thank you from me. Being here without support, is so very hard on everyone who has to do their time alone. My goal is to NEVER forget, so I will make May/June a special time annually, where I am able to look back at all the people in my life and, once again, thank them for making my time here pass with an incredible amount of love and support.

The third thing I will do is get a full body physical. I may be at a medical facility, but my health has not been monitored. The last time I had blood tests was in February (they are supposed to do them every 1-2 months). I have not seen my assigned doctor, ever, since she started in December. I know my body and know that I probably need a change in my medication regiment, but I will do that on the outside. Plus, I read about a new pill for autoimmune issues - it replaces the enbryl. I am definitely going to see if I am a candidate. I look forward to being my own health care advocate once I am given the opportunity.

The end is near. I know this for sure. Perhaps my higher power is letting me remember, I must release the control to try and know exactly how and when I will be going home. It's part of step 3, and since I have Lola (somewhere on the other side of the fence) needing to release control, I shall as well. You won't hear more news about my release until I have definite news. It will happen and I will wait for it - a day at a time.