However, initially, if admitted, I would not be a doctoral student, but a master's student in criminal justice. They only accept five doctoral students per year, and their incoming cohort was selected in December. The professor I met with came up with the idea of my applying to the master's program, taking doctoral level courses for this year, and applying into the doctoral program this fall, for fall 2015. Meanwhile, my first year courses would transfer into the doctoral program, so I won't be another year behind. I can also transfer in my credits from many of my education courses as electives.
I know what many may be thinking, why am I considering this switch from education to criminal justice? No answer is easy, but let me start with my past. When I attended law school, I knew I'd never want to practice criminal law - the system is just too flawed. Innocent people are locked up, guilty people go free, racial disparities are huge, and money buys freedom. I could never see myself advocating to find a loophole allowing a rapist to go free or prosecuting a person who I know will spend more time in prison just because of the color of his skin. Instead, I focused more on civil areas of law - employment and family law.
I did assist a criminal law professor on an interesting research project. We looked at racial disparities for sentencing on similar amounts of crack cocaine. The findings were very telling of the racism within the judicial system. I also did a bit of criminal law research when I was working with an appellate level judge. Other than my own case, the only criminal law cases I ever stepped in a courtroom for was a teen's petty theft (friend's son) and a few traffic violations.
In the early 2000's, I taught for six years at a college part-time. I mostly taught courses related to business law or for paralegals. However, I was asked to teach a couple criminal justice courses (intro to criminal justice and criminal law). While I never wanted to practice criminal law, I really enjoyed teaching it to college students considering a career in law enforcement. Maybe I could help them understand the ethics behind the choices they will make on the job.
Fast forward to my life over the past year, and I witnessed first hand how flawed our justice system continues to be. From the fact that people are threatened to take plea deals for far more than anything they actually did, to the treatment of inmates in prison, I knew that my future would somehow include connecting my passion for education and the need to advocate change within the criminal justice system. There needs to be more alternatives to imprisonment, and more programs to help people become healthy in mind, body, and spirit while paying the consequences of their prior actions. I want to be a part of the solution... I've always believed that you should never complain unless you are willing to try and change the situation. For me, I want to ensure that people, especially women, have a more humane experience through our criminal justice system. I, also, believe that education, as a preventive medium, as well as a way to combat recidivism is a way to bring my varied interests together.
So, over the next week, I will complete the application process. I struggled to identify my three references, but even though I am not asking anyone from my former department, I was able to ask three wonderful professionals, including two faculty I've worked with, who are more than happy to give me positive and supportive letters, despite their knowledge of my past.
No matter how many may try to shame you, there are good people in this world that can see you for the person you are. Just keep doing the next right thing. Never give up on your dreams. You have to maintain hope.
I don't know if I will ultimately be accepted into my university's criminal justice program, but applying and putting my best self forward is the only way to find out. I know the Director of the department liked me (in fact, he wants to hire me on the side to tutor his son in algebra based on my sharing what my job was in prison!). No matter what, though, I found another open door (so far many more open doors than closed doors), and being open-minded, honest, and willing are taking me one step closer to getting back in school.
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