Home Sweet Almost Home

It used to be that when I visited my hometown, I automatically felt like that was home. Now, it's the people that make it home much more so than the places. Spending the night with my folks consisted of small conversation and watching an episode of NCIS New Orleans off their DVR. They weren't on their devices playing Words with Friends, I guess that's an improvement!

Getting my life back on track so fast has been good. I was able to take on all my financial responsibilities and have asked them for nothing. I don't need their advice and when I do tell them about what's happening, they just ask, "are you still working out?" When I tell them about being in a flare up, they look genuinely concerned, but know they are powerless as they watch me pop my pills throughout the day.

We are such different people and my recent experiences are helping me to not have any expectations but to just accept them for who they are. I know they love me in the way they know how. I am loved unconditionally by many and they are as much my family as the one that raised and judges me.

Last night I attended one of my favorite GA meetings. It's a meeting Sporty and I started in my hometown about five years ago. It's a really strong meeting now and there were a lot of familiar faces and many new faces. After I spoke, some people shared that they'd heard about my story in the rooms or that they were at my five year pinning last summer or that they too had the possibility of facing prison. So many of us connected by our pasts and now our recovery. I am so blessed to have found this program and that my story can help others. Everyone's story has that capability, I am not special or unique, I am merely an example of someone who continues to seek hope in the face of adversity. Recovery has given me that tool.

That is why it's okay that life with my family does not need to be perfect. Life is not perfect. My hope is not to change my parents because that is out of my control. My hope is to continue to build my family of choice to be the people that make home feel like home and feeling loved feel like love. I love my family and I know they never doubt that. I love all the people I consider family - even some new ones that I met behind the fences. My hometown may no longer be home, it's truly where my family is that I am at home.