A Chance to Say "Thank You"

I've been asked to speak at a regional gambler's anonymous conference as a closing speaker. Being the closing speaker is great... less people stick around for the final day, so there is way less pressure. It's also in the region I originally started my GA recovery in - these folks are my family, my people. When I was incarcerated, I received cards and letters nearly every single day from people in those rooms wishing me well and giving me words of strength. Sometimes, entire GA meetings would sign cards and send them in to me to tell me that they were thinking of me. Although I no longer lived within their region having moved to another for school, they still loved and cared about me, especially as I was serving my time at Carswell. This is what the GA program and our recovery programs are all about.

I look forward to my opportunity to share words of hope, wisdom and strength with people in the room. As the closing speaker, I will try to bring the weekend to a close with words of inspiration and thoughts that may help those that are still struggling with gambling. This is my opportunity to do more, though, as I get to practice my program as well. This is my opportunity to thank everyone, whether they are present or not, for all their prayers, letters, cards, and books that made my time away feel as if they were with me all along. I never spent even one hour of my time at Carswell feeling lonely or unloved. My program helped me believe strongly in my higher power, but I also knew that I had all these people back home who cared deeply about me and my wellbeing, even if they'd never even met me. I received cards from perfect strangers who had only heard my story. That's the power of this program. I've only recently been asked to speak and I will not be doing so for a couple months, so the speech is not yet written, but a good part of it will be about the fellowship of GA, the power of that fellowship, and my gratitude toward each and every person in it.

How amazing it is that I am given this grand opportunity to say such a formal thanks. I have to admit that I am nervous. I love public speaking, but I do get nervous. Sounds weird but it's true. I can teach to a classroom of 200+ students with no problem, but I am not talking about myself, my story. I suppose that half the people or more will have already heard much of my story at the closing - more than 100 people attended my 5 year GA pinning prior to my incarceration. The real story starts there, though, doesn't it?!?!

Perhaps one day I will be somewhere and my thanks will be able to go to each one of you, who choose to read this blog. Maybe I'll be speaking somewhere and you will be in the audience. Wouldn't that be something? We never know what the future may hold - one day at a time is all we do know. I hope you all know how much I appreciate you for being a part of my life. If no one read this blog, I would likely still write in it, but it's so much better knowing that people get something out of reading it. So, thank you! Thank you! Thank you!