The Realities of Change

It's not until we are within difference that we can actually see that life has really changed. As you all know, I love my family. I love my mom. I have struggled with my relationship in the past with my mom, but I have always loved her deeply. In recovery, it has been much easier, as I stopped with so many expectations and just started being her daughter. I started getting to know my mom for who she is, and I started to let her know me - for better or worse.

The good news is that over the past several years it appears to be for better. My mom and I have developed a good, honest relationship. My honesty may not be what she is used to, but she seems to accept it in me. We enjoy our time together. We can spend entire days together and have good conversations and not run out of things to talk about. These are things that we didn't do in the past. We just had nothing in common. I never felt as if she wanted to spend time with me.

Today, mom and I spent the day doing real mother/daughter stuff. At the end, we were still happy, talking, and enjoying one another's company. It means so much to me. It shows how much I have changed and how much our relationship has grown.

When I started my recovery journey, I never knew that it would change every aspect of my life. I only thought that I had a gambling problem... a financial problem. Reality is that addiction starts from  somewhere and in the end affects every aspect of our lives. Recovery, amazingly, can also affect every aspect of our lives. There is very little about my life that looks the same as it did when I gambled. I'm the same person, but who I am, how I look at things, and especially my relationships with others, are all different. Today I am grateful for my relationship with my mom.